Not even sure where to begin here... So much to catch up on!
First off, Carters birthday. It just so happened to fall on Memorial day this year. I was struggling trying to find a good way to celebrate it with my family as I knew they wouldn't accept us not having something for him. I had every intention of doing something, just didn't want to include them. I wanted him to have a drama free birthday and I knew that couldn't happen if they were going to be around. Unfortunately he did not get that. Since his b-day was on Memorial day my parents asked if we'd attend their BBQ and offered to turn it into a little birthday party for Carter. I was super hesitant. I didn't want to do that. But my dad insisted we be at his BBQ and my mother insisted we do cake for both boys since their birthdays are just a few days apart. I thought about it and finally decided that this was probably going to be the best option cause the only other would be to have everyone at my house later in the week and I didn't want that either!
To my surprise, my little sister couldn't attend. Sad as it is, I was thrilled about this. I started thinking maybe this was going to be a good day with my family after all. My parents had invited their friends over so I knew they were going to be on their best "showing off" behavior, my sister that I adore was going to be there, and my other sister who I usually, but not always, get along with was also going to be there. I'm sure I've explained this before but I'll explain it again... My parents have 4 girls, my mother babies my oldest sister my dad babies my little sister. Its always been this way, even as a child it was always this way. My other older sister and I were the middle kids and treated as such... to the T. I assume that this is why she and I are best buds and my little sis and oldest sis are best buds (despite the fact that there's a 14 year difference in age, one is a college student and the other a SAHM mom, they have zero in common other than the fact they are their parents "babies" and they are both very negative people who think everyone needs to cater to their needs.)
So anyway, at the BBQ my oldest sister shows up with her husband and 2 kids, I was happy to see them since Carter and her DD get along pretty well. Carter was really excited and that made me happy. They both get in the pool and start are playing and swimming nicely. I don't know why or what was wrong with my oldest sister but she was acting as if she just smoked a dubbie! I know she didn't, she's not like that, but that is how she was acting. My sisters pet name is Debbie Downer. She is always depressing, never upbeat or happy, always complaining, life is always so hard and miserable, she can never handle anything, including her children. She constantly pawns them off on everyone, Mark and I joke that she's Monday thru Friday mom because those are the only days she usually has to have them, like it or not. On the weekends my parents and her MIL take the kids so she can get the breaks she so desperately needs. *insert eye rolling* To put it simply, she's depressing and lazy.
So its no surprise that when she got there she made herself a plate of food then sat down in a lounge chair and refused to do anything more. She sat their for nearly the entire BBQ, never once got up to manage her kids. In the mean time her younger DD kept stealing toys from Nolan, and not that I mind that, but she wanted all the toys, even toys that were his. She refused to share. No matter what Nolan picked up it was instantly hers. My sister did nothing though she was well aware of what was going on. I kept having to get involved and tell her to share but I didn't feel it was my place to punish her every time she didn't. This went on for every bit of an hour, constantly back and forth... mine mine mine! Then there was an incident in the pool, Carter splashed my niece and she told him to stop, he splashed her again and she hit him. Carter was so hurt by this, emotionally. He instantly started sobbing. Carter quickly got over it and I did make him say he was sorry for splashing, my sister's response was " well Carter shouldn't have splashed her DD"... she did nothing to punish her for hitting, in fact its as if she condoned it!
I was irritated at this point but was trying to just let it blow over. My sister is sitting on her lazy ass sipping margarita's while her kids are bulling my kids around on their birthday! I think I had every right to be ticked... Well then it comes to present opening time, her DD instantly starts opening up all of Carters presents. I had to tell her to stop while my sister just watched her start tearing into his gifts. She listened but I shouldn't have had to say anything, my sister should have!
Then my other niece started taking Nolan's toys again, all of them. At this point I was frustrated that she was doing this so I went up to her and told her to stop, I took a toy out of her hand that was Nolan's and gave it to him. I told her firmly that she needed to share. She flipped out, she wanted that toy, she wanted all the toys... My sister finally gets up (because her glass is empty) and goes over to her DD and tells her to give the toy back to Nolan cause she had stolen it back from Nolan. My sister is playing tug of war with her over the toy, showing no other emotion, not firmly telling her to let go or anything, just saying very calmly to let go. Her DD refuses so my sister yanked it out of her hand and when she did that she hit Nolan and he went head first into the pool! She turned around just staring at him, the expression on her face was still unemotional and she made no attempt to jump in after him! I had too, fully dressed, she was in her bathing suit, she was right there, I was about 10 ft away, I got to him first. I was PISSED at this point but still kept my mouth shut. All my sister said was she had no idea what happened... How could that be? She knew what happened she just didn't want to admit it! Poor Nolan was so upset. And what does my sister do? She hands the toy in question over to my niece because Nolan obviously didn't want to play with it anymore and said, "well in her DD's defense, I shouldn't have taken the toy away from her DD in the first place" WTF?! Her DD had been taking toys away from Nolan all afternoon! And way to go on teaching your child the importance of sharing!
I was trying not to cause an even bigger scene but I was livid. My mom tried to change the mood by asking if we could do cake. I said fine, I wasn't really wanting too at this point, I wanted to go home, but I agreed. Dana took a seat next to my mothers friend, was chatting away with her. My mom brought the cake out and I was right in front of her with it. As soon as her girls saw the cake they came running up. I was fine with that but then every time I lit the candles they kept blowing them out, the youngest was spitting all over the cake. I asked her to stop and back up. We sang happy birthday, I motioned for Carter to blow the candles out but he was having a bit of anxiety trip over all the commotion, especially since my nieces were not letting him get to the cake. Again they blew out the candles and Carter didn't get too. I wasn't going to keep relighting them, it was an ice cream cake, we didn't have time to keep playing that game. I was getting more and more pissed at this point, her kids would not back up and let the boys have their moment, my sister did nothing even though I kept telling the girls to back up. Then my younger niece came up and stuck her fingers in the cake and I lost it! I was done at this point, I picked her up, turned around and handed her to my sister and firmly told my sister to please act like a parent today and control her children. I instantly felt bad because her DD started crying, which I'm sure was not because I told my sister off, I'm sure it was because I pulled her away from the cake. It should have never gotten to that point, my sister is the most lazy parent I know. It would have been totally different if they were acting this way even though she was trying to get them to behave, its completely different when she's doing nothing and as a result her kids acting like little crazy people. I don't hold her kids responsible at all, first of all there's an obvious lack of parenting, but also they were acting their age, that's normal and I totally get that. Had the tables been turned I'm sure my sister would have been just as furious but that would never happen.
After that happened my sister said she stood up and said she had to go, she took off in a hurry because I hurt her feelings.... oh boohoo! I was glad to see her go and even more glad to hear my other sister feel the same way. I knew it wasn't just me seeing what was, or should I say wasn't, going on. Still it was nice to have some back up. Mark of course was backing me up the entire time but in a way he has too. Even though my older sister and I get along best, she would never take my side just because, she's not like that. After she left we had a good time, stayed for about an hour or so longer and not a single problem came up. I knew it was too good to be true to think that drama wouldn't occur. I'm really starting to feel numb toward them, I have no desire to see any of them except my older sister.
Speaking of her, her and her hubs aren't doing so well. They got into it at the BBQ as well. When they were dating he was such a nice guy. Everyone was jealous of my sister because he was seriously like her knight and shining armor. He was just so wonderful, so sweet, such a gentleman. After they got married his true side came out, he's a mean, arrogant, possessive man and treats my sister like dirt. They're going to start marriage counseling next week but my sister has pretty much fallen out of love with him. She doesn't want to try, she doesn't think he'll change, and she's tired of wasting her time with him. I don't blame her, he is a royal ass, I won't even repeat some of the things he said to Mark that day because its that vulgar, but needless to say both Mark and I lost a lot of respect for him that he will never get back. She told me today that she wants to move to North Carolina, which is funny because I've been wanting to go there too. She needs some time to save money, Mark would need time to find a job there, but we're considering the move together within the near future! Mark and I have wanted to move there for the longest time, I've been hesitant for several reasons, but one of those reasons was because I wouldn't know anyone. If my sister went I would go in a heartbeat! A lot can happen between now and then, I'm well aware of that, but if all goes as well as planned by 2010 we could be living in NC!
Also today we had our first meeting with the new speech therapist! She is wonderful! I was so happy after she left, I instantly connected with her and just got this great feeling like she was the one who is going to help Nolan. That other chick is long gone, thankfully. I should have known from the start and trusted my gut, but I tried to put my feelings aside and make this about Nolan... lesson learned!
And I'm happy to announce that Nolan is FINALLY back in cloth diapers! He's been out for the last few weeks because his old diapers started falling apart, I sold them on DS and bought a new supply of different diapers that sucked. Sent those back and got some Snap-Ez diapers and they rock!! They're a little on the pricier side but they have a great reputation for holding up and lasting a long time, Brady will be able to use them as well so its worth the investment. And when I say a little pricier I mean by a dollar per diaper, nothing excessive.
I'm sure there's more but Nolan just woke up from his nap... He's so funny because he use to wake up screaming wanting out but for his birthday my parents got him and Carter a fish tank that we put in their room so now every time he wakes from a nap or in the morning he wakes up so nice and peacefully. He'll sit in there for every bit of 30 mins or so just watching the fish and talking to him. He's such a doll, I love him so much! I can't believe in 2 days he's going to be 2!!!! OMG!!!! :D
