A few bad days

I really hate complaining, I have been very blessed and I'm well aware of this. I try to take all that into consideration before I start spewing complaints out, but the last few days have been rather miserable. Boo-hoo for me.

First off, I'll be 14 weeks tomorrow and all of a sudden its like I'm 8 weeks again with all the nausea and throwing up... not to mention all the other fun tummy issues I know nobody wants to hear about. I was really looking forward to this time, depending on which book or website you read I'm finally in the golden second trimester, the trimester where you're supposed to feel your best. Instead I'm sitting here trying to keep my lunch down all while dealing with 2 children who literally freak out whenever mommy has to throw up. If I shut the door they freak out, if while distracted in between heaves Carter makes his way in, he freaks out. I feel terrible, they certainly did not ask for this.

Because of this I just haven't been in a great mood. I'm really trying to rise above it but its just not happening like I had hoped I would. It took Mark and I a year and a half to get pregnant with this one. I know there are others out there who have tried for many years longer only to end up with nothing, I really do know how lucky I am. I remember praying to God over and over that if He would bless us with one more child I would never complain and here I am bitching and moaning over what some would give their left arm for. My poor husband has been such a trooper but I know its wearing on him as well, he's tired of picking up my slack and I don't blame him one bit. He won't admit that but its obvious, its written all over his face whenever he's doing something I usually would be doing. On top of the tummy problems I'm still so tired, all day long I have zero energy, and not being able to keep anything down isn't helping. I really love that I am pregnant, but actually being pregnant has been much harder on me than it ever has before. I wasn't prepared for that but in the end I'm sure I'll look back at this and amazingly miss it, despite everything.

As for Carter and Nolan, Carter has been great, Nolan is really pushing my buttons...literally! Every button in our house is his new favorite toy. The TV, computer, and various power strips... all his favorites. I can't tell you how many times he's turned the TV on and off, the cable box, the computer and power strip to the computer... I'm terrified of what could happen to all of our electronics with all that turning on and off! Finally I had enough and decided I needed to figure out a way to deter him from touching any of these buttons. I searched high and low, then did what any true redneck would do, I got my roll of duct tape and taped over every button and switch in our house and wha-la! No more button pushing! However now our house looks quite trashy with all these things duct taped. Who cares though, a part of my sanity has been saved for now.

I also volunteered to host Easter dinner because I apparently did not learn my lesson at Christmas. I'm not really worried about everyone coming over, just annoyed with the fact that I said I would not do this again and here just a few short months later I caved. I suppose I was having a good day the day my mom asked me. Two weeks after that I'm hosting my best friend in the entire worlds baby shower. I owe her big, she deserves a great day and its my goal to make that happen. I am looking forward to that, just feel a little awkward that I'm going to have strangers in my house. I've never hosted anything unless it was with friends and family so this is all new to me... think I may have to remove all the duct tape for the day so these people don't think I'm some sort of duct tape fanatic! Even though I'm looking forward to her baby shower, I'm also looking forward to it all being over with. I get a bit anxious when things are being expected of me and right now I don't need any more anxiety, but then again who does?

Usually I'd just drown a bad day away with a few martini's, but that's not a possibility anymore so looks like I'll just have to put my big girl maternity panties on and get over it!