It's a...

"Nother boy!!! He's great, healthy, active, and perfect in every way!

We are very happy and so excited... but OMG... 3 boys!!! Every time I say that to myself I get a few more gray hairs! LOL

My myspace has pics!

I keep telling myself... It could have been worse...

Today was one of those days I hope never repeats itself. Some parts of the day were ok, but the morning was not. It could have been worse. It should have never happened. But it still could have been worse. Having one of those heart stopping mommy moments start my Sunday morning off was not what I anticipated.

It all started yesterday. My sister called me early to let me know that a neighbor by my parents house was having a garage sale and there was an outside play gym for sale, that it was in good condition and I should take a look. We have been looking for something like this for a while, its not "the one" but its one that will do until we can get them the set I'd like to get. Having such a big back yard I really have been working at getting some fun outside things to do. They have a play house but Carter has outgrown that, we're getting them a sand box for their birthday next month so the only thing they really don't have was a play gym with a slide. When I got to the garage sale and saw it I thought to myself FINALLY! It was perfect for the boys and best of all, only $25! Score! I called hubby up and told him to come get it.

We get it home and we both look at each other with the same expression on our faces, how are "we" going to get this in our back yard... I'm not supposed to lift anything over 25lbs (I do anyway but this was definitely beyond what I should do.) Somehow Mark got it in by himself, but he did have one little helper. Carter was so excited and begged to help daddy out. We agreed to let him help as long as he stood out of the way. I didn't realize what a mistake that was. He watches daddy's every move, he wants to be just like him, of course. What 3 year old boy doesn't want to be just like daddy? Carter didn't miss a thing, including how to open the lock on the gate.

So this morning we all wake up around 7am. It was nice waking up to Mark being home, for a change. This was the first morning he's had off, with us, in the last month. The boys were wound up and wanting to play outside, I opened the door and let them go while I made breakfast. Mark was in the bedroom reading the news on the computer. It was a typical Sunday morning when Mark is home. From the kitchen I have full view of our completely fenced in back yard. We live in the kind of neighborhood where people watch out for everyone and there's always someone outside enjoying the peacefulness our neighborhood has to offer. Keep in mind the majority of the people in the city we live in are elderly folks. There is no such thing as crime in our little town. I grew up here, I trust the people here, and even though its sometimes a bore to live here, I feel safe here. Which is the one and only reason I haven't left yet. Needless to say I feel completely comfortable letting my kids play in the back yard without feeling the need to watch over them like hawks. If I can hear them and I can see them, then I'm good.

While making breakfast I notice the boys got quiet. This usually means they're digging in the dirt like dogs and don't want mommy to come out there and yell at them. As much as I can't stand that, I wish that was the case. I can't see the boys anywhere so I immediately stopped what I was doing to go look for them. My heart is pounding. Where were they? I saw Carter first, he was by the edge of the gate playing with something, I don't even know what he was playing with, all I saw was him and the opened gate. Nolan was no where to be found. I asked Carter where Nolan was, I apparently shouted this since not only did Carter hear me but so did my next door neighbor and Mark who was inside and oblivious to anything going on. The gate was open... finally it sunk in that my baby escaped. I ran right out to the street, I looked left, then right, still no sign of him. My heart was racing, I was screaming for Mark to hurry up. Across the street from us is a row of houses, behind those houses is a pond. I was just about to run to that pond although every ounce of me did not want too. I just couldn't believe this was happening. It felt like forever but was probably just a few seconds before another neighbor 2 doors down came walking down the side walk with Nolan in her hands. She was walking her dog and Nolan came up to greet her and her puppy. Thank God and every one of our Guardian Angels! I instantly burst into tears, my neighbor hugged me and told Nolan that he shouldn't scare his mommy like that. Nolan being the sweet little lover he is hugged me, then went back to wanting to cuddle with my neighbor. Its a good thing he's such a people person! My neighbor kept telling me it was ok, these things happen and that's why this is such a great community because we all watch out for each other...etc. I know that, but that doesn't make this right. *IF* she had woken up a few mins earlier and wasn't outside at the time... *IF* Nolan didn't see anyone else and wandered across the street to the pond... *IF*.... I keep going over all of these if's in my mind. I feel my punishment for letting this happen is to torture myself with these if's so I make sure it never happens again.

The part that makes me the most upset was that this has happened before, sort of. We had just moved in, crap was everywhere and I couldn't find anything, including my good baby gate (which has yet to appear.) The only one I could find was my cheap little wooden one, it did the job, but apparently was not Carter proof. We had just gotten a new lawnmower from my dad and Carter was completely infatuated with it. He wanted to go outside and look at it. I said no. I went to the bathroom and while I was peeinig he was knocking down the gate and doing what I told him he couldn't do. I was gone for just a second and as soon as I was done I realized what happened. Thankfully they didn't go far and I spotted them quickly. I brought them inside, and while I'm not usually one to spank my kids I did spank Carter for this and explained to him that his actions could have caused himself and/or Nolan to get seriously hurt, or worse. Immediately after I went to Target and bought a gate that's not only Carter proof, its pretty much adult proof to everyone but Mark and I.

This time around I did not spank Carter. It obviously didn't work, he doesn't understand the seriousness of what could happen. He loves his brother and watches out for him, but he's 3 and is not his babysitter. He realized after that what he did was wrong, he was upset and cried to me that he would never do that again. Well I already know that, I would definitely make sure of that! The gate has a lock on it that I thought was childproof, and it may very well be but Carter is not the average child and it obviously was not Carter proof! We decided to skip breakfast and went strait to Lowes, our gate now has 2 heavy duty chains with 2 heavy duty master locks on them. The key's are hidden in a spot I probably will never remember so I think its safe to say that this particular gate is permanently locked and secure.

After the gate incident we took off and went to BRU, BedBath&Beyond, and out to lunch as we were now starving. It was nice to spend the day together, we haven't done that in a while. Last night I worked on Carters growth chart, it was coming along great! The only thing I had to do was glue everything on. So after lunch I decided to do that. I forgot to get glue at Lowes so I looked to see what we had at home and all I had was fabric glue and gorilla glue. Having never worked with it before I figured gorilla glue was the best option. Such a stupid move on my part. I had no idea that stuff expanded as it dried and that it dried all white and puffy! The whole thing is destroyed now, I have to get new letters, numbers and animal cut outs, repaint those. completely sand down the areas they were attached at and repaint the entire board. Basically I'm at my starting point once again, I was so close to done and now this. Grrrrr!!! Oh well, at least I learned a lesson, never ever ever ever use gorilla glue again! lol And now that I know what and how I want to make this thing it shouldn't take me long to have it redone.

Despite those two bad incidents today we did our best to make the best of it and have a good day together. The gate incident really put things into perspective for me. I hugged Nolan a lot closer and a lot longer, even though at times he wasn't as thrilled as I was. Every time he threw a temper tantrum or was whinny I just thanked God that he was ok and unharmed. I still keep torturing myself with the thoughts of what could have happened, not sure when or if I will stop. I'm sure at some point I'm going to have too. I also am not sure if I'll let the boys play outside without me watching them like hawks either. That gate is most definitely secure but the thoughts, images, and that awful heart stopping fear is just too fresh.

Ready for my break!

Good Lord... This weekend was killer. Mark went on a golfing trip, he left Friday from work so we technically hadn't seen him since Thursday night. He got home late last night. Part was business related but most was pleasure. I really didn't mind that he went at first, I knew it was going to be hard to not have any breaks but my BFF and I were going to hang out so I figured I'd barely miss him and the weekend would fly by. Then she just had to go and have her baby a full month early and ruin all my plans! Haha totally kidding there. Still I wanted Mark to have fun, since he rarely ever gets too (not like I ever get to either but I'll discuss that later)

So there I was, sitting at home all weekend long, no breaks, no contact with other adults except the 2 phone calls I got every day from Mark saying, "Hi hun, I'm just calling to say I love and miss you guys, but we're about to walk in to... so I have to run, k, bye. Click. WTF?? Thanks a lot asshole! Finally on Sunday he called and said he had some time to talk. Wow, don't I feel special. Three days later he has time to talk. Whatever. So he's going on and on about his weekend, how he won some stupid award and can't wait till next year... blah blah blah. I stopped him right there and told him there will be no next year. This weekend was hard enough with 2, next year with 3... that's just not happening. Mark didn't like hearing this, I could tell by his tone that he was pissed off by me saying that. Oh fucking well...! We decided to have children so we have to make sacrifices, not just me! I told him the only way he could go next year is if he takes the boys with him. He wasn't liking that idea tho. We ended that phone conversation with an ever so sweet "Well fuck you too" send off. Just what I was looking for after 3 days of not talking to him. Sigh. BTW, the kids were out of range...outside playing. ;)

We didn't speak to each other yesterday, he tried, I ignored. I was just too pissed and feared I'd say something I would regret. He knew he was coming home to an unhappy wife, I'm sure he feared that and I'm secretly happy about it... but I still ignored him, I should have laid into him then but I was just too tired. He leaves for work at 5am, this morning I was half awake when he left, he leaned over to kiss me and I put my hand on his forehead and pushed him away. He then leaned over, kissed my ass, then said he loved me. If there's more of that tonight I'll think about forgiving him.

We did talk this morning. He still says he doesn't know why I'm mad. And truthfully I wouldn't be if he would have started off the Sunday phone conversation with a little compassion. "Gee hun, I'm so sorry this is the first time I'm getting the chance to talk to you... how did your weekend go... Oh I'm so sorry babe, but I really appreciate you taking one for the team and letting me go, I really had a great time and I promise when I get home I'll give you your much needed break..." Seriously, is that too much to ask for? Instead it was more like, "Hi babe, my weekend was great, we did this, ate here, did that, I shot a this, won this, did that, talked to this guy...etc. Isn't that great?" Well fuck you very much, so glad you had such a great time!

A good friend of mine and I were talking about this yesterday. We are truly amazed (more so annoyed) at how men can go off and do whatever it is they're doing, work, play, whatever, and at the same time leave their responsibilities as a husband and father behind them. Like its no big deal. We could never do that! Its not like I can't take weekend vacations with my friends, I just wouldn't. Especially not now, not while they're at the age that they're at. I would get about a mile down the road before I needed to turn around just to make sure they're all ok. I would constantly think of them, worry about them, call them, talk to them... it would be pointless to be away, I wouldn't enjoy myself one bit. How do they do it? Seriously, I want to know.

Simply Put

Nuff said. And you know who you are...

Oh, and please, have a great day. *rolling eyes*

Some updates...

First and foremost, my BFF had her baby girl! OMG she's adorable! Last Monday my BFF got into a "minor" car accident, she was fine but the car wasn't. We think that might have caused things to start moving, or at least it didn't help. The next night we all went out for dinner at Carrabba's, oregano is supposed to be a natural labor starter, so I've heard. Then that night her and her hubs bumped uglies and 2 days later she had her little girl, a month early! She was not trying to start labor, actually she was walking around 4-5 cm dilated and didn't even know it! She went in for a routine check up and was told to go strait over to L&D. Of course she went to Wendy's first, she was hungry, that girl never gets nervous. She got to the hospital at 4:30, doc broke her water at 6:30, her baby girl was born at 8:03pm! Doesn't get much better than that! She had such a fast childbirth, but her little girl was face up so even though she was only 6lbs 5oz, she had a hard delivery and ended up being ripped a new one.... welcome to Mommyhood Lisa!!

Now as for Nolan. I swear that woman is reading this blog! The night I posted about being pissed she called apologizing for not getting back to me sooner. Then she called today saying she's going to have the speech pathologist come to our house to re-evaluate Nolan and she thinks he may need more than one day a week. Very weird that she just came out with that. She feels that his constant drooling is a sign of low muscle tone in the lower jaw so it may be something physical after all. Before when they evaluated him he was teething, so it was hard to tell if the excessive drool was from the teething or low muscle tone. Those teeth are all the way up now, so they can't be the culprit unless he's getting his 2 year molars in which it really doesn't look like he is and he just got his 1 year molars in last month. This meeting went so much better, she spent a lot more time with him. I think it helped that Carter wasn't here, he was at MMO. I'm starting to see more and more that Carter might be the cause to a lot of this as well. I guess I didn't realize how much Carter speaks for Nolan, I'm really picking up on that now. Carter also likes to try to steal the show, loves to be the center of attention. They kept telling me to make sure he's there, I think it went much better without him. Carter definitely has good intentions, he loves his brother so much and he certainly looks out for him a lot, but I think I need to work on getting Carter to back off just as much as I have to work on getting Nolan to speak up for himself. ***Chris you are 100% right about that!!!*** I also told her about Nolan missing MMO by doing these meetings on Friday and she was more than willing to move our dates around. She wants him to keep going to MMO as well and thinks its very good for him. And once again she was another who confirmed he has no signs of Autism, Thank God!!!

My main goal is to just get the communication lines open with Nolan by the time the new baby gets here. With Carter starting Pre-k in August, new baby in September, and the fact that I have come to the realization that despite being right down the road from most of my family, I have zero help to rely on (that's another post), things are about to go from a little crazy to really freaking hectic! I'm looking forward to the extra craziness but it would be a lot easier if the communication issue is somewhat resolved before then.

Chris, We have no issues with leaving him with anyone. He's extremely social at MMO, he loves all the girls there, he's such a ladies man that it isn't even funny! The only problem we are having with him is hitting, I don't know if its just an age thing or the fact that he has no other way to communicate so he uses his hands. This just started and had gotten really bad over the last few days. I feel bad for the other children even tho all the moms tell me not to worry about it and that their kids went through that too. Carter did as well, but he never really hit other kids, only me, Mark, and his cousin who is a year older than he is... but she being older would push him around and take toys from him so he started hitting her to defend himself (not that I condoned that, just an explanation) as a result it became a hard habit to break once he realized he could control her with his hand. They've finally outgrown that.

Kinda pissed off...

Last week was our first meeting with the speech therapist person (can't remember her exact title) and she said she would call this week to set up an appt to meet up this week. She still hasn't called. So that means she will probably call tomorrow and I'm going to have to cancel my plans for Friday to accommodate her. I hate when people call at the last min, I hate when people think that just because I'm a SAHM I can do whatever whenever without a single hint of notice. I don't know what to do, I'm really not happy with this service at all. It's a state funded program and I'm thankful they do it at no charge, but that comes with a price too. The price is waiting, and unfortunately I don't think we have that opportunity. I'm going to speak with my Dr and my insurance and see what else we can do. I'm not trying to be ungrateful here but we are talking about my child who will be two in a month and a half and still isn't speaking or communicating... I'm sorry but 1 hour a week every week isn't going to do shit to help him. I do what she does every fucking day and it doesn't help.

Yikes! Watch out hormones!

Today, not a good day. I think it was because yesterday Mark didn't get home until late. His boss was in town so they went out for a few drinks after work, he didn't get home until after the boys were already in bed, so I had them alllll daaaaay lonnnng yesterday, and alllllll daaaaay lonnnnng today!

Usually that's no biggie for me, but today was not a good day. Mark and I agreed that they are our kids, we will raise them. We have very little help, during the day its all on me. If I have a dr's appt, he comes home to watch them. Yesterday I did get a break for about an hour when I went to the dentist. But having your teeth drilled out is hardly a break, IMO. Good news is dental work is done! So... After I returned it was one thing after another with Nolan. This not being able to communicate thing is taking its toll on the both of us. He wants something in our kitchen, I don't know what that is and he doesn't know how to tell me. He leads me into the kitchen then just stands there and whines. I tried giving various kinds of foods, snack, and drinks. I gave him some plastic cooking utensils that I never use so I don't mind if he breaks them, none of those were what he wanted. When he gets frustrated he goes into a temper tantrum. We had several of those yesterday and the only time I got a break from his whining was when he went to bed. All day long he whined and cried. It was exhausting but when the day was over I figured tomorrow would be better and started doing the chores Mark usually does. By the time I was done with those I was so pooped I went strait to bed.

Unfortunately we got woken up early by Nolan. So this started my day off on the wrong foot. He was whining in the kitchen again, went through the same routine and again nothing satisfied him. We attempted to go to story time at the library then out to lunch with our friends but I knew before we got there that it wasn't going to work. About 20 mins into it I decided to leave. It was too much. Nolan is hitting kids all the time, I assume because he can't speak to them he uses his hands to try to communicate. I know he's not doing it to be mean but I don't know how many times I can say "NO HIT" before he gets it. We've had one home meeting with the therapist last week and honestly, after she left I was very skeptical that she was going to be able to do what she says she is going to do. I didn't click with her at all, but I have to keep reminding myself that this isn't about me, its about Nolan. I'll give her a few more weeks to see if my initial gut reaction was right or wrong.

Anyway back to story time... I left, in tears, I just couldn't take it anymore. Anyone who knows me knows I'm not a cryer. If I'm crying its only because I've reached my breaking point, and it takes a lot to get me there. Very few people have seen me cry. My BFF works at the library, she did her best to help me with the boys, helped me get them to the car and helped calm me down a little. We were supposed to go out to lunch with her and another friend but we didn't, I just wanted to go home. On the way home I realized we had no food at the house so I did stop to get lunch at Panera Bread... YUM! I went home and put Nolan to bed, ate lunch and tried to nap but Nolan wouldn't have it that way. Finally I called Mark and broke down on him. He was so great about it, he's had to take a lot of time off of work lately for my doctor appts and dentist appts, I was fully expecting him to tell me to tough it out and he'd be home when he could. Instead he said that he would finish up the project he was working on then come home early. I guess he could tell I needed him more than I was letting on, I was telling him not to come home, that I'd be fine, but he insisted. It was such a huge relief to hear him say that.

When he got home he took the boys outside and let me go grocery shopping alone. Strangely enough, that's actually a big deal! LOL Its so nice to go and concentrate on what I need to do instead of going and having to deal with this one needing this, that, or whatever, and as soon as we get to the furthest spot in the store its inevitable, Carter will have to potty. They fight about this... they fight about that... MOOOOOM Nolan hit me!... WAAAA... You get the picture. However having time to think about what I wanted instead of my usual get in and get out routine meant I spent way more than I should have. It was worth it though!

When I got home Mark had the house cleaned, the boys fed, he took in and put away the groceries for me and started the laundry which is now all done and put away, by him! What more can an overstressed, hormonal, pregnant mom ask for? :)



Also, some updates... My mom is not going to need surgery, YAY! She did have to get a hard cast on her left ankle, she was hoping for another removable one but no such luck. They said her right sprained ankle will take more time to heal and cause the most pain since she has torn ligaments. She sounded so much better today. I think she was most worried about needing surgery so she was happy to find out she didn't need it.

I also got a call from my OB who told me that all my test results for the baby, including the NT scan results which determines if the baby could have downs syndrome, came back perfect. Of course we'll know more after my 20 week scan but as of right now we're pregnant with a healthy little baby!

My poor Mommy!

In the last few months so many loved ones have been in and out of the hospital. First my Grandmother up north got sick, she has cancer. Its treatable, not curable. Then my Grandfather up north got sick right after she got home. He had a heart attack along with CHF. He's fine now but would be better if he'd take his damn meds. Then my Grandpa who lives by me got sick, he's recovered. My uncle broke his hip and fell... he died.

So this morning my dad calls at 6:45am. Woke the whole house up! I thought he was calling to remind me that my car payment is due. I was tired and not thinking strait. At first it pissed me off, he knows I pay on Friday which is tomorrow, and if that's why he was calling couldn't he have waited until later?! Finally I wake up enough to realize that he's probably not calling about the car payment.

So I call him back, he picks up, say's hello, me being very groggy said hi, what's up. He say's this every freaking time like he doesn't have caller ID... Who is this? Duh, its your daughter! Oh, which one?? Every time I call him we go through the same thing... Anyway he tells me that my mom fell this morning down the stairs, she's in the ER right now and broke her ankle. But not to worry, she's fine, you can't call her or do anything for her so go back to bed. WTF! Why did you call then! LOL I love my dad... seriously he's so freaking funny... go back to bed, right!

Of course the whole house was awake now, no going back to bed for us! A few hours later my mom calls to tell me what happened. She got up to go to work this morning, usual time 4:30am. Went downstairs to leave, when she got to the garage she realized her tire had a flat so she ran back upstairs to tell my dad that she had a flat, he needed to get that fixed for her this morning, and she was taking his truck. Went back downstairs to leave. My parents house has 2 two car garages, one on each side of their house. A his and hers kind of thing. So my mom is leaving out of his side, went to walk down the steps in his garage, it was dark, my dad left his shoes in the middle of the floor, my mom tripped over them and went down hard. She bruised up the right side of her body, her shoulder is really sore. She sprained her right ankle really bad. Worst of all, she broke her left ankle. :( She had to be taken by ambulance because my dad couldn't lift her into his big truck, not that she's a hefty woman or anything, my dad's truck is pretty high off the ground and it was obvious her ankle was broken so he didn't want to hurt her more. I feel so bad for my mom, she must have been so embarrassed. :(

The shitty thing is, this is not the first time this happened! Its not funny, but because she is ok we couldn't help but giggle a little. My mother is a notorious clutz. She has fallen more times than I can count. She even fell down her garage stairs a few years ago and broke her ankle then as well, but that time it was only one ankle, this time her other ankle is sprained pretty bad so she's having a real hard time with this because she can't walk at all. We brought her flowers to try to cheer her up but she was drugged up and kind of out of it. She might not even remember we came by!

So if you're the praying kind, please say a few for my mom. She's ok, but her spirit is broken a little. She had a lot coming up and now it looks like she's going to have to cancel everything. She had a dr appt tomorrow and will find out then how serious her break is, hopefully its not that bad and she just needs another walking cast like before... And hopefully the next time anyone in my family has to go to the hospital its because I am having the baby!

Finally feeling better

Slowly but surely I'm finally feeling better and not so physically exhausted throughout the day. I still need naps, and I still need to take unisom to get a full nights rest, but I can make it through the day without feeling like I need to prop my eyelids open with toothpicks just to stay awake.

I honestly went into this pregnancy saying that I wasn't going to ever complain, all my symptoms I'd gladly accept. I wanted to puke, I wanted to feel nauseous, I wanted to to be on the saltine and ginger ale diet. I didn't get much of that. Instead I constantly felt like I had been run over by a semi. I wasn't prepared for that at all, especially with having to take care of 2 very active children as well. I honestly would have preferred the morning sickness, even if it lasted all day.

I kept reaching for that magical 2nd trimester week. Thinking that would be the day I started feeling better. Some books and websites say week 12 you're in your second tri, some say 13, some even say 14. I sat here as each of these weeks passed and still felt miserable. I started fearing that I may never get to feel glorious in my 2nd tri like I did with both of the boys.

However here I am, nearly 17 weeks pregnant and finally I feel a little better! Hooray! Other than being so physically exhausted all the time I really have had a great pregnancy. I don't think anyone can prepare themselves for that particular symptom because there is no cure except sleeping all day which isn't an option for me and many other pregnant women out there who also have other children to care for or have full time jobs. I never imagined that my biggest complaint was going to be being tired, saying that makes me feel like such a wuss!

So along with feeling better physically I was also happy to find out that I've lost 4 lbs since getting pregnant! Which is definitely a good thing. Being that I was not super skinny to begin with (still holding onto 40lbs of pregnancy weight after having the boys) losing weight is actually a good thing and even recommended. As long as you eat a healthy diet of course, which I do. I think the reason I've lost this weight is because I've been very good about what I eat, the fact that I have major meat aversions also helps, no greasy cheeseburgers for me! Plus, despite the fact that I've been so tired, I was forcing myself to continue to work out. Not going to pay $60 for a gym membership and not use it! I did cut my workouts down dramatically, now I mostly go in the pool and swim laps or walk on the treadmill, there's not much more I can do. Mark and I go together, we joke saying that a couple that works out together stays together... even though we never really do the same stuff we are there to support each other and its a lot of fun... plus it turns me on to see him pumping iron and getting all sweaty! :)~

What a comical day on FF

I don't usually get involved with the "DDramalover" but yesterday and today she struck a nerve that I could just not let go. She is pregnant, or so she claims. When she announced it my first thought was "good for her!" Which is pretty much my thought when anyone who is TTC gets pregnant, no matter who they are. I truly don't believe she is who she says she is, or that she's even pregnant, but really I don't give a shit one way or another. That is until yesterday... there was a post about someone considering abortion due to an unexpected pregnancy that she didn't think she could handle (the baby not the pregnancy). I must admit, when I saw that I was a bit peeved. How could she say that on a board full of women suffering from infertility? Anyway, its apparent she just needed some time to think since this was unplanned for her and she was scared, she eventually said to her hubby that like it or not she was having another baby! Good for her! Well then comes a little known drama seeking person who, in so many words but not verbatim, said that she too became pregnant unexpectedly and is considering abortion. Whoa! What the fuck?! Last I heard she was trying, maybe not trying but not preventing, but definitely wanting. If that's the case then "unexpected" isn't an option to classify your pregnancy as. Of course after people started "flaming" her she changed her post which just confused the heck out of others who didn't know what was going on. The whole thing was quite ridiculous and being that I was in a funk today I figured what the hell, I'll jump in too. Watching the whole thing unfold was too much for words to describe. No, scratch that, there is one word to describe it... Sad. But not boo-hoo sad, more like fucking hilarious sad.

Another something that's sad, again with the fucking hilarious sad not boo-hoo sad, there are actually a few FF dolts still talking about my damn cake! Wow! I couldn't be more flattered. I mean here we are nearly 11 weeks later and my cake is still being talked about. A cake, that I might add, was meant as a silly and fun way of telling my husband and others that we were expecting our third child. Not a cake that was meant to be eaten. And for the love of God, who the hell hasn't put a pee stick in their mouth recently? I can't be the only woman on FF that gives her husband blow jobs on a regular basis. If so then I'll be sure to let my dearest husband know how incredibly lucky he is. Clean that penis all you want, ladies, leakage still occurs during and I'll be willing to put a weeks pay on the fact that its more than the single drop I put on that test. Bwahahaha.... looks like the jokes on you too, pee stick suckers!

No, really, in all seriousness I should be thanking each and every one of you. I was having such a crappy day and this was just what I needed. I haven't laughed this hard in weeks, nearly 11 to be exact! :wink:

Updates and some new stuff...

First update... My uncles funeral was on Saturday. It was a beautiful ceremony, and really sad. He was 90 years old, he lived a good life and had a lot of loved ones and great stories to share. I was sad he was gone but I was more sad because I really never got to know him as well as I would have liked too. I have very few memories with him as a child, he was always very nice to me but nothing really stands out. At his funeral all his grandchildren and great grandchildren stood up and told stories about him, he seemed like such a fun guy. I lived in the same town as he did my entire life, how did I not get to know him better? My 2 older sisters have more memories than I do, I guess by the time I came around he had other things going on? I remember a few times riding my bike to his house, but that was mostly to visit my Aunt Wilma, after she died (I was only 8) we never went over there much. I left the funeral a little mad at myself for not getting to know my uncle more, which I never expected to feel that way and it's a very strange feeling to have.

As for my BFF's baby shower, it went great! I was freaking out about the entire thing, I usually do for things like this. I guess its my little defense mechanism, I fear the worst so that whatever happens is never as bad as I thought it was going to be. First thing I freaked out about was the cost, we started going a little over budget and I got a little worried about that. So instead of having it catered I decided to make the meal myself, which was baked ziti, my other friend throwing the shower with me brought a salad and dinner rolls. So instead of spending $75 on food, we spent about $20... thankfully Publix was having some killer sales! We opened things like plates and napkins as we went along, now we have a ton of stuff to take back that we didn't use. Between the two it helped bring our cost down about $100 which is great! Then I started to worry about the weather, there was a 90% chance of rain today! EEK! The whole reason we decided to have this at my teeny tiny house is because we have a huge back yard and the party was supposed to be outside! We expected about 25-30 people to show up, 40 showed up instead. Of those 40 people only about 15 actually RSVP'd... *insert eye rolls* But that's ok, it didn't rain until this evening and the party went really smooth. My ziti was a big hit, got lots of compliments. My friend had a great day, which was most important to me, and everyone had a great time! I couldn't have asked for a better outcome.

As for some new stuff, I'm attempting to turn my uncrafty self into a craft-o-holic! I'm starting to learn how to knit and I'm so excited about this. My BFF's mother-in-law and I were talking today and she mentioned that she knew how to knit. I immediately lit up because I've been looking for someone to help me learn. I've been trying to take classes but every time they come up I'm busy that day. I've tried several DVD's but I'm not a visual learner, I'm a hands on learner, I couldn't figure anything out. I hate not having someone there to critique me when I have no idea what the heck I am doing, obviously a DVD couldn't do that! She told me to get my pattern and give her a call, she'd have me knitting in no time! So Awesome! After I get the hang of knitting I'd like to start getting into sewing too, but that's going to take some time since a decent sewing machine is very expensive and I'm not sure when I'll be able to afford one. That's the nice thing about knitting, you can really save money and all you need is some needles and wool. In the mean time I am going to keep my eye out for a good used sewing machine.

Another project I'm attempting is to make growth charts for the boys. I've been wanting to get new charts, one for each kiddo. I had an idea in mind so I started searching online for what I wanted. The growth chart we have now is fabric and its not supposed to be written on but I write on it anyway. It's difficult to do and doesn't look very nice since I'm writing on fabric with a marker for 2 children, its meant for only 1 child. I was looking at wooden growth charts online and while they were all very cute they were also very expensive. Most of them were hand panted tho, mine won't be that elaborate but they will be very cute... I hope! If I were to have bought the wooden ones online it would have cost me about $175 for 3 charts. I couldn't fathom that, so I went to Lowes, got them to cut up a nice piece of plywood for me. Then I went to Michaels and got the paint, wooden letters, already painted animal wooden cut-outs, and paint brushes. Total cost was about $65! Much better! Plus mine will be more personalized where as the online charts weren't.

I'm excited about all of this, I can't wait to start all these projects. My goal is to eventually open my own online store selling everything that I can make by hand. I see so many other mama's do this and they make a decent living. I'd like to know how to make wool longies, shorties, cloth diapers, mama cloth, and maybe some children's clothing and other children items. Along with the growth charts. My goal is to get this accomplished within the next 3 years. Seeing as I don't know how to do any of this stuff yet, and I have 2.5 kids at the moment, I think 3 years is reasonable. That will give me time to learn how to do these projects and master them so that I can actually sell them too. We have a lot of craft shows in our area so I could even set up shop there. It would be really great to sell cloth diapers locally and get the word out about how awesome cloth is! I feel really good about all of this and am so excited to start learning.

Crazy times...

There is just so much going on right now, I barely have a moment to breath, much less type this!

First, my root canal last week, healed up great, however after the procedure they put me on an antibiotic so now I also have a wonderful yeast infection along with plenty of tummy issues.

On Saturday night Mark and I went to a party, we didn't get home until 2am. I'm still recovering from that thanks to my little Nolan who decided to wake up at 5:30am. Yes, that night I got a whopping 3 hours of sleep! Ouch!

Sunday was a lazy day, obviously. There wasn't much Mark and I could physically do accept sleep when we could. Unfortunately that left us at each others throats and the night ended with us in a big fight. We were both tired and cranky, not a good combination. Mark doesn't realize (or he's just playing dumb) that when he's home the boys don't want much to do with me. They have me all week, they want him. They look forward to daddy time. So when the boys started jumping all over Mark he got frustrated with them and tried to punish them. I jumped in the middle of it cause I felt he was wrong. They wanted their daddy's attention, they are children, they don't know how to ask for it the way an adult would. I would have been peachy with him trying to calmly correct their behavior but he didn't do that, he just jumped at them yelling and acting as if he were as old as they are. I tried explaining that but he was too tired and cranky to care. Which is not the usual Mark, I think that is what upset me the most. He never acts like that, his children always come first. I suppose everyone has their down days and this was definitely one of his. At the end of the day we took the boys to get something to eat and to the park, but Mark and I were still not on speaking terms. The next morning he started acting like he knew he had done wrong but of course no apology. The one thing I can't stand about my husband is that his vocabulary lacks the phrase "I'm Sorry". I suppose if that's my only complaint than I shouldn't be complaining, especially because he would rarely need to use it if he could ever spit it out.

So yesterday, Monday, not a good day either. I played hermit crab. I didn't want to talk to anyone, go anywhere, do anything. I was sick from the medicine I'm taking, I was still recovering from the weekend. Mark called me and told me that one of our friends got into a bad motorcycle accident and they didn't know if he was going to live or die, thankfully it looks like he's going to make it but it was iffy at the time I spoke with him. So with feeling very blah and gross I decided it was a good day to shut off my phones and cut off the world for one day. I stayed in my PJs, didn't shower (cause I showered the night before) and just spent time with the boys and myself. Then my little sister calls, the first time I didn't hear it, the second time I was just too lazy to kick Nolan off my lap and go hunting for the phone. About 1 min after the second call I hear a knock on my door, it was my little sister who decided it would be a good idea to show up at my house unexpectedly. If you call my house 2 times in one day and I don't answer and don't call back... DO NOT JUST SHOW UP AT MY HOUSE!!! Unless of course I have been missing for a few days or something creepy like that! I hate unexpected visitors, I don't care if it was Brad Pitt himself, if he didn't call and get an answer from me first I would have yelled at him too! My house was a wreck, I was a wreck, I didn't feel good, I looked like hell, I was pissed. Even worse she brought my uncle with her. Like I wanted to explain why I didn't want visitors to him. Sigh. I didn't know he was with her until after I yelled at my sister for just showing up. I felt bad but damn... she knows I don't like it when people just show up at my house, and this one particular day I couldn't have been more unprepared or in a worse mood. When I realized my uncle was with her I told them to come in but little sis already did her dramatic slamming of the door and left.

This morning I called my uncle, I explained in the best way possible why I felt and looked like crap and wasn't up for company, he didn't care he understood, or at least he said he did. He felt bad for showing up like that and apologized to me, which just made me feel worse. Little sis also sent me a message apologizing, which was very big of her and not normal so that makes me think someone else told her too. I hate to be so cynical but I know her to well to know she wouldn't do something like that on her own.

While on the phone this morning with my uncle I found out that one of my great uncles passed away this morning. He was a great guy, but he lived a good life and its one of those things where it seemed like it was his time. He was almost 90 years old, his wife died about 15 years ago, after that he fell into a deep depression for a few months until he met his "lady friend" who helped bring him back to life. He was happy again. However a few months ago she passed away from a massive heart attack. His health started declining greatly after. He was my grandmothers brother and the last out of her siblings to go. Its really sad but at the same time he did live a good life.

It looks like his funeral will be this weekend. I'm hoping the viewing is Friday and the funeral Saturday. If its Sunday, I'm screwed. My parents and my other sister and her family are in New Jersey visiting family, my two other sisters work weekends, I'm the only one out of my family who can attend. Plus my grandfather wants to go but someone will have to drive him. That someone is going to have to be me. Under normal circumstances I would be completely fine with this, however this Sunday is my best friends baby shower that I am hosting at my house! My dad said I have to go to my uncles funeral, he's counting on me to take grandpa. Can we say SCREWED! I'm keeping my fingers crossed that his funeral is not on Sunday but if it is family comes first and I know we will figure something out with my best friends shower.

Thursday I have a doctors appt. Not so crazy but then a good friend called and said she wants to do lunch. I rarely get to see her so of course I want to meet up with her. Its definitely going to make for one long day though.

I can't wait until this week is over. I need an end to all this craziness! Next week all I have going is my final dentist appt! Strangely enough I'm really looking forward to that. I want all of my dental work done and gone, after next week it finally will be. Hooray!