Yikes! Watch out hormones!

Today, not a good day. I think it was because yesterday Mark didn't get home until late. His boss was in town so they went out for a few drinks after work, he didn't get home until after the boys were already in bed, so I had them alllll daaaaay lonnnng yesterday, and alllllll daaaaay lonnnnng today!

Usually that's no biggie for me, but today was not a good day. Mark and I agreed that they are our kids, we will raise them. We have very little help, during the day its all on me. If I have a dr's appt, he comes home to watch them. Yesterday I did get a break for about an hour when I went to the dentist. But having your teeth drilled out is hardly a break, IMO. Good news is dental work is done! So... After I returned it was one thing after another with Nolan. This not being able to communicate thing is taking its toll on the both of us. He wants something in our kitchen, I don't know what that is and he doesn't know how to tell me. He leads me into the kitchen then just stands there and whines. I tried giving various kinds of foods, snack, and drinks. I gave him some plastic cooking utensils that I never use so I don't mind if he breaks them, none of those were what he wanted. When he gets frustrated he goes into a temper tantrum. We had several of those yesterday and the only time I got a break from his whining was when he went to bed. All day long he whined and cried. It was exhausting but when the day was over I figured tomorrow would be better and started doing the chores Mark usually does. By the time I was done with those I was so pooped I went strait to bed.

Unfortunately we got woken up early by Nolan. So this started my day off on the wrong foot. He was whining in the kitchen again, went through the same routine and again nothing satisfied him. We attempted to go to story time at the library then out to lunch with our friends but I knew before we got there that it wasn't going to work. About 20 mins into it I decided to leave. It was too much. Nolan is hitting kids all the time, I assume because he can't speak to them he uses his hands to try to communicate. I know he's not doing it to be mean but I don't know how many times I can say "NO HIT" before he gets it. We've had one home meeting with the therapist last week and honestly, after she left I was very skeptical that she was going to be able to do what she says she is going to do. I didn't click with her at all, but I have to keep reminding myself that this isn't about me, its about Nolan. I'll give her a few more weeks to see if my initial gut reaction was right or wrong.

Anyway back to story time... I left, in tears, I just couldn't take it anymore. Anyone who knows me knows I'm not a cryer. If I'm crying its only because I've reached my breaking point, and it takes a lot to get me there. Very few people have seen me cry. My BFF works at the library, she did her best to help me with the boys, helped me get them to the car and helped calm me down a little. We were supposed to go out to lunch with her and another friend but we didn't, I just wanted to go home. On the way home I realized we had no food at the house so I did stop to get lunch at Panera Bread... YUM! I went home and put Nolan to bed, ate lunch and tried to nap but Nolan wouldn't have it that way. Finally I called Mark and broke down on him. He was so great about it, he's had to take a lot of time off of work lately for my doctor appts and dentist appts, I was fully expecting him to tell me to tough it out and he'd be home when he could. Instead he said that he would finish up the project he was working on then come home early. I guess he could tell I needed him more than I was letting on, I was telling him not to come home, that I'd be fine, but he insisted. It was such a huge relief to hear him say that.

When he got home he took the boys outside and let me go grocery shopping alone. Strangely enough, that's actually a big deal! LOL Its so nice to go and concentrate on what I need to do instead of going and having to deal with this one needing this, that, or whatever, and as soon as we get to the furthest spot in the store its inevitable, Carter will have to potty. They fight about this... they fight about that... MOOOOOM Nolan hit me!... WAAAA... You get the picture. However having time to think about what I wanted instead of my usual get in and get out routine meant I spent way more than I should have. It was worth it though!

When I got home Mark had the house cleaned, the boys fed, he took in and put away the groceries for me and started the laundry which is now all done and put away, by him! What more can an overstressed, hormonal, pregnant mom ask for? :)



Also, some updates... My mom is not going to need surgery, YAY! She did have to get a hard cast on her left ankle, she was hoping for another removable one but no such luck. They said her right sprained ankle will take more time to heal and cause the most pain since she has torn ligaments. She sounded so much better today. I think she was most worried about needing surgery so she was happy to find out she didn't need it.

I also got a call from my OB who told me that all my test results for the baby, including the NT scan results which determines if the baby could have downs syndrome, came back perfect. Of course we'll know more after my 20 week scan but as of right now we're pregnant with a healthy little baby!