I've moved!

I decided I needed a change so I moved my blog to wordpress. Here's the new link, I won't be posting here anymore.

http://3boyslotsofjoy.wordpress.com

Just another day in paradise!

Is it Friday yet???

Monday was a great day! Our washing machine, TV, and Marks truck broke, washing machine is still functional though I don't know for how long, TV is done for now and Marks truck is still in the shop. We're debating whether to get a new TV or get it repaired, it all depends on Marks bonus that we just found out is not going to be what is was supposed to be, its going to be much less so we'll probably get the TV fixed. What sucks is that if it wasn't broken it wouldn't even be worth the cost of the repair, however we don't have $600+ to throw down on a new TV. Everywhere I've looked all they have now are flat screen LCD or Plasma's, or the projection TV's. Tube TV's are a thing of the past, even Target doesn't sell any over 19 inches. The washing machine isn't ours, it came with the house. The problem is the owner of the house, who is also one of Marks best friends, isn't keeping this house as a rental, he sort of got stuck with it and we're just helping him out. As soon as the economy gets better and the real estate market picks back up he's putting it up for sale (by then we should be long gone ;) Needless to say he's not going to fix the washer if it goes, he hasn't said this flat out but basically insinuated that if it goes we have his permission to get rid of it and get our own. Which is fabulous considering we don't have the money to buy a new one so our only option will be to fix a washing machine that's not ours. Mark is going to see if he can fix it himself, that should be a site to see! I have to say though, this DIY attitude Mark has recently is very sexy! I'm likin' it! :0)~ About Marks truck, the good thing is that 1) he wasn't hurt and 2) its doesn't cost us for the repairs. The brakes went out, he pulled out of his shop and the brakes went to the floor. They were fine when he drove to work, they were fine earlier in the day when he ran errands, sometime that day one of the brake lines cracked and leaked fluid out, thankfully this did not happen while he was on the interstate! He was just mins away from getting on I-75... it could have been much worse. The only sucky thing is that now I don't have a car while he's at work since he has to use mine. His truck should be done this afternoon, still it sucks, that's 2 days without a vehicle for me, suck at home, with 2 very hyper boys who already have cabin fever! Oh and yesterday when Mark got home, I took off to go to Target just to get out, I barely made it down the road when I hear BEEEEP... My damn engine light came on! My freaking goodness, when it rains it pours! I know its nothing serious, its some stupid sensor that is known to have "hiccups" and needs to be reset. I went and took care of that immediately but still, what else could possibly go wrong, or dare I ask!

So as for today, I have a dr's appt today to find out what the heck is wrong with me. It all started 2weeks ago, I started feeling crappy thanks to that mother who brought her sick kid into MMO. I started with a weird sore throat that felt like tonsillitis but my tonsils looked fine. My sore throat disappeared right as my cold started, my cold disappeared and now I've got the sore throat again! I don't know what's wrong but something has got to give. I don't have any redness, my tonsils look fine, my glands feel normal, no white patches, just lots of pain. I've tried everything from sinus medication (not much I can take) to gargling with salt water, but nothing works. My throat doesn't hurt when I'm just sitting here doing nothing, but dare I swallow some saliva and holy hell brakes lose! Hopefully I'll get some answers soon. After my dr appt I have to run home, pick up Mark and the boys, drive an hour north to get his truck, an hour south to get home, and then cook dinner. Was supposed to have girls night tonight but looks like I'll have to cancel, really sucks cause at this point I really needed it... I also really need some Tequila but I'll have to pass on that too!

My new mantra in life...

"I'm not going to get mad anymore; I just have to expect the lowest from the people I think the lowest of. "Unknown"

Yet more family drama

I'm going to keep this short because not only am I sure that you all are tired of reading about it, I am tired of talking about it.

Last night I received a myspace email from my oldest sister, she titled it to all her sisters but the entire letter was about the situations she and I are in, so basically it was her passive aggressive way of attacking me, once again. She basically stated that she's tired of walking on eggshells around me, she thinks we should all just get along for our kids sake and our parents sake and that I should look in the mirror because its not her, its me. I didn't reply, I have no words for her that would change anything, that is obvious. I wish she didn't have to walk on eggshells around me but in order for her to not do that she would have to learn how to be respectful of others and to not be so selfish and insensitive. That goes for the little sister as well. When all this shit started around Christmas time I decided then that I would no longer just let all the crap they dish out go away. They're mad that I am actually standing up for myself for once. They can't push me around anymore. I won't let it and they don't know how to deal with it. My response to that is "Learn how to deal with it or learn how to treat people with respect!" Doesn't seem like such a hard task to accomplish but for them it apparently is. I will not say that to them because it will do no good, that's pretty damn obvious. They don't see themselves as the problem, they think they can do no wrong, I think otherwise. I have to love them because they are family, I don't have to like them and because of their actions, I don't. I've never disrespected them, I just simply stopped putting up with their crap.

So anyway, onto better things! I had another u/s yesterday that went great! Got to see our little man and he's doing wonderfully! They got the pics of his heart that they didn't get at our 20wk scan because he was being a little booger and had himself curled into a ball facing my spine. Right away they got the pics they needed so the rest of the u/s was just watching him, I got to see him yawn and stretch... that was just too cute! Its just the most awesome thing getting to see what he's doing, I feel him moving everyday but getting not feel and see the movements at the same time is just amazing! Since everything looks so great this will likely be my last u/s. Unless I measure large toward the end of my pregnancy, which I did with both boys so there's a good chance I will again! I hope so, Mark didn't get to make it to this appt so it would be nice to have one last u/s so that he can attend it as well, especially since this is most likely our last baby.

You may also notice that that I'm referring to the baby as "the baby" or "little man" because I don't think I like Brady anymore! I know I know... I need to make up my mind!! Mark is happy about that, he never really liked Brady. I wish he would be honest with me for once and tell me what he does and does not like! When I said Brady all he said was that it was better than my other choices and to chose whatever I wanted. He never gives me any reasonable idea's, he'll say things like Clifford, Heathcliff, Fielding, Fritz...etc. Names you give to animals not babies! He's totally joking, he just doesn't have any legitimate suggestions so he tries to be funny about it. His mother thinks I need to let him have the say in this baby since I chose Carter and Nolan's name. If Mark had any reasonable suggestions I would, he doesn't. I'm back to liking Sawyer and Wesley again, more so Sawyer but I really don't know. This is just so frustrating, I knew what I wanted to name Nolan before he was even conceived, I wish it was the same for this baby, at this rate his permanent name is going to end up being Little Man!

M-I-S-E-R-Y!

Uggh! I am so freaking sick of being sick! All because some ignorant mother decided it would be ok to bring her extremly sick child into moms morning out on a day we all went. First Nolan got sick, then Carter, now me. And to no surprise we have the same symptoms the sick child had a MMO. We ended up having to call the mother, and by the way the dad is an RN so you know they knew he was contagious, because he was so ill. Green snot pouring from his nose and he almost threw up on us a few times. He was just miserable and thanks to his insensitive and ignorant mother, so are we. Thankfully the boys are better, but not me and when preggo there's really not much you can take, just got to suffer through it and that's what I've been doing. Just when I thought it was over now I have this horrible cough, its like this big block of something stuck in my chest, I have to cough, nothing comes up, and now my entire body aches from coughing so much. This just sucks!

Happy Birthday Nolan!!!

Two years ago today my sweet little Nolan was born! He was really tiny, especially compared to his brother, he only weighed 6lbs 13oz and was 21 inches long. We couldn't believe how small he was, they say with each child you have they tend to get bigger and bigger, so I wasn't expecting him to be that small! He grew quickly though and in no time he turned into my little chubs! We went to the dr's today for his check up and he's in the 50th % tile for both height and weight, he's perfect!

Its funny how both my boys are so incredibly different. Nolan is very outgoing, he loves to cuddle and loves to socialize. He may not communicate with words just yet but he's a lover and lets everyone he meets know that. I'm very proud of him, I'm proud of both my boys. I am truly honored that I get to be their mother, they are the most incredible little people and have touched my heart and soul in a way nobody else can. They are my life.

05/30/2006

05/30/2008

Lots of updates...

Not even sure where to begin here... So much to catch up on!

First off, Carters birthday. It just so happened to fall on Memorial day this year. I was struggling trying to find a good way to celebrate it with my family as I knew they wouldn't accept us not having something for him. I had every intention of doing something, just didn't want to include them. I wanted him to have a drama free birthday and I knew that couldn't happen if they were going to be around. Unfortunately he did not get that. Since his b-day was on Memorial day my parents asked if we'd attend their BBQ and offered to turn it into a little birthday party for Carter. I was super hesitant. I didn't want to do that. But my dad insisted we be at his BBQ and my mother insisted we do cake for both boys since their birthdays are just a few days apart. I thought about it and finally decided that this was probably going to be the best option cause the only other would be to have everyone at my house later in the week and I didn't want that either!

To my surprise, my little sister couldn't attend. Sad as it is, I was thrilled about this. I started thinking maybe this was going to be a good day with my family after all. My parents had invited their friends over so I knew they were going to be on their best "showing off" behavior, my sister that I adore was going to be there, and my other sister who I usually, but not always, get along with was also going to be there. I'm sure I've explained this before but I'll explain it again... My parents have 4 girls, my mother babies my oldest sister my dad babies my little sister. Its always been this way, even as a child it was always this way. My other older sister and I were the middle kids and treated as such... to the T. I assume that this is why she and I are best buds and my little sis and oldest sis are best buds (despite the fact that there's a 14 year difference in age, one is a college student and the other a SAHM mom, they have zero in common other than the fact they are their parents "babies" and they are both very negative people who think everyone needs to cater to their needs.)

So anyway, at the BBQ my oldest sister shows up with her husband and 2 kids, I was happy to see them since Carter and her DD get along pretty well. Carter was really excited and that made me happy. They both get in the pool and start are playing and swimming nicely. I don't know why or what was wrong with my oldest sister but she was acting as if she just smoked a dubbie! I know she didn't, she's not like that, but that is how she was acting. My sisters pet name is Debbie Downer. She is always depressing, never upbeat or happy, always complaining, life is always so hard and miserable, she can never handle anything, including her children. She constantly pawns them off on everyone, Mark and I joke that she's Monday thru Friday mom because those are the only days she usually has to have them, like it or not. On the weekends my parents and her MIL take the kids so she can get the breaks she so desperately needs. *insert eye rolling* To put it simply, she's depressing and lazy.

So its no surprise that when she got there she made herself a plate of food then sat down in a lounge chair and refused to do anything more. She sat their for nearly the entire BBQ, never once got up to manage her kids. In the mean time her younger DD kept stealing toys from Nolan, and not that I mind that, but she wanted all the toys, even toys that were his. She refused to share. No matter what Nolan picked up it was instantly hers. My sister did nothing though she was well aware of what was going on. I kept having to get involved and tell her to share but I didn't feel it was my place to punish her every time she didn't. This went on for every bit of an hour, constantly back and forth... mine mine mine! Then there was an incident in the pool, Carter splashed my niece and she told him to stop, he splashed her again and she hit him. Carter was so hurt by this, emotionally. He instantly started sobbing. Carter quickly got over it and I did make him say he was sorry for splashing, my sister's response was " well Carter shouldn't have splashed her DD"... she did nothing to punish her for hitting, in fact its as if she condoned it!

I was irritated at this point but was trying to just let it blow over. My sister is sitting on her lazy ass sipping margarita's while her kids are bulling my kids around on their birthday! I think I had every right to be ticked... Well then it comes to present opening time, her DD instantly starts opening up all of Carters presents. I had to tell her to stop while my sister just watched her start tearing into his gifts. She listened but I shouldn't have had to say anything, my sister should have!

Then my other niece started taking Nolan's toys again, all of them. At this point I was frustrated that she was doing this so I went up to her and told her to stop, I took a toy out of her hand that was Nolan's and gave it to him. I told her firmly that she needed to share. She flipped out, she wanted that toy, she wanted all the toys... My sister finally gets up (because her glass is empty) and goes over to her DD and tells her to give the toy back to Nolan cause she had stolen it back from Nolan. My sister is playing tug of war with her over the toy, showing no other emotion, not firmly telling her to let go or anything, just saying very calmly to let go. Her DD refuses so my sister yanked it out of her hand and when she did that she hit Nolan and he went head first into the pool! She turned around just staring at him, the expression on her face was still unemotional and she made no attempt to jump in after him! I had too, fully dressed, she was in her bathing suit, she was right there, I was about 10 ft away, I got to him first. I was PISSED at this point but still kept my mouth shut. All my sister said was she had no idea what happened... How could that be? She knew what happened she just didn't want to admit it! Poor Nolan was so upset. And what does my sister do? She hands the toy in question over to my niece because Nolan obviously didn't want to play with it anymore and said, "well in her DD's defense, I shouldn't have taken the toy away from her DD in the first place" WTF?! Her DD had been taking toys away from Nolan all afternoon! And way to go on teaching your child the importance of sharing!

I was trying not to cause an even bigger scene but I was livid. My mom tried to change the mood by asking if we could do cake. I said fine, I wasn't really wanting too at this point, I wanted to go home, but I agreed. Dana took a seat next to my mothers friend, was chatting away with her. My mom brought the cake out and I was right in front of her with it. As soon as her girls saw the cake they came running up. I was fine with that but then every time I lit the candles they kept blowing them out, the youngest was spitting all over the cake. I asked her to stop and back up. We sang happy birthday, I motioned for Carter to blow the candles out but he was having a bit of anxiety trip over all the commotion, especially since my nieces were not letting him get to the cake. Again they blew out the candles and Carter didn't get too. I wasn't going to keep relighting them, it was an ice cream cake, we didn't have time to keep playing that game. I was getting more and more pissed at this point, her kids would not back up and let the boys have their moment, my sister did nothing even though I kept telling the girls to back up. Then my younger niece came up and stuck her fingers in the cake and I lost it! I was done at this point, I picked her up, turned around and handed her to my sister and firmly told my sister to please act like a parent today and control her children. I instantly felt bad because her DD started crying, which I'm sure was not because I told my sister off, I'm sure it was because I pulled her away from the cake. It should have never gotten to that point, my sister is the most lazy parent I know. It would have been totally different if they were acting this way even though she was trying to get them to behave, its completely different when she's doing nothing and as a result her kids acting like little crazy people. I don't hold her kids responsible at all, first of all there's an obvious lack of parenting, but also they were acting their age, that's normal and I totally get that. Had the tables been turned I'm sure my sister would have been just as furious but that would never happen.

After that happened my sister said she stood up and said she had to go, she took off in a hurry because I hurt her feelings.... oh boohoo! I was glad to see her go and even more glad to hear my other sister feel the same way. I knew it wasn't just me seeing what was, or should I say wasn't, going on. Still it was nice to have some back up. Mark of course was backing me up the entire time but in a way he has too. Even though my older sister and I get along best, she would never take my side just because, she's not like that. After she left we had a good time, stayed for about an hour or so longer and not a single problem came up. I knew it was too good to be true to think that drama wouldn't occur. I'm really starting to feel numb toward them, I have no desire to see any of them except my older sister.

Speaking of her, her and her hubs aren't doing so well. They got into it at the BBQ as well. When they were dating he was such a nice guy. Everyone was jealous of my sister because he was seriously like her knight and shining armor. He was just so wonderful, so sweet, such a gentleman. After they got married his true side came out, he's a mean, arrogant, possessive man and treats my sister like dirt. They're going to start marriage counseling next week but my sister has pretty much fallen out of love with him. She doesn't want to try, she doesn't think he'll change, and she's tired of wasting her time with him. I don't blame her, he is a royal ass, I won't even repeat some of the things he said to Mark that day because its that vulgar, but needless to say both Mark and I lost a lot of respect for him that he will never get back. She told me today that she wants to move to North Carolina, which is funny because I've been wanting to go there too. She needs some time to save money, Mark would need time to find a job there, but we're considering the move together within the near future! Mark and I have wanted to move there for the longest time, I've been hesitant for several reasons, but one of those reasons was because I wouldn't know anyone. If my sister went I would go in a heartbeat! A lot can happen between now and then, I'm well aware of that, but if all goes as well as planned by 2010 we could be living in NC!

Also today we had our first meeting with the new speech therapist! She is wonderful! I was so happy after she left, I instantly connected with her and just got this great feeling like she was the one who is going to help Nolan. That other chick is long gone, thankfully. I should have known from the start and trusted my gut, but I tried to put my feelings aside and make this about Nolan... lesson learned!

And I'm happy to announce that Nolan is FINALLY back in cloth diapers! He's been out for the last few weeks because his old diapers started falling apart, I sold them on DS and bought a new supply of different diapers that sucked. Sent those back and got some Snap-Ez diapers and they rock!! They're a little on the pricier side but they have a great reputation for holding up and lasting a long time, Brady will be able to use them as well so its worth the investment. And when I say a little pricier I mean by a dollar per diaper, nothing excessive.

I'm sure there's more but Nolan just woke up from his nap... He's so funny because he use to wake up screaming wanting out but for his birthday my parents got him and Carter a fish tank that we put in their room so now every time he wakes from a nap or in the morning he wakes up so nice and peacefully. He'll sit in there for every bit of 30 mins or so just watching the fish and talking to him. He's such a doll, I love him so much! I can't believe in 2 days he's going to be 2!!!! OMG!!!! :D

Happy Birthday Carter!!

Four years ago today was one of the best days of my life. Today is Carters 4th birthday! I can't believe he's 4, he's such a little man now. He was born at 1pm after 24 hours of labor that ended with an emergency c-section. He was 8lbs 4oz, which seemed big but he was so tiny, so perfect, and so beautiful! Now he's a whopping 43lbs, not tiny but still perfect and beautiful in every way!

05/26/04

05/26/2008

TaDa...

Finally, got a name for our new little man! Brady Richard!!

Brady is just a name we like, Richard is for a friend of DH's who passed away of cancer a few years back. Mark really wanted to honor him and I totally agree, he was a great man and died way too young.

Our other choices were Sawyer and Brody. I was really torn at one point, I really wanted each of them. I finally nixed Sawyer when people told me about the character on Lost, which we are not Lost fans and that isn't where we got the name from. Still it sort of started to irk me so I dropped it, Mark never liked Sawyer so he was thrilled.

Then with Brody, I really loved Brody, and was really really tempted. But my very immature sister said if we named him that she was going to call him Grody Brody for his entire life. I figured since she has the maturity of an 8 year old kid I might want to listen to her... ;) Of course that wasn't the only reason I change my mind, what also helped was when I read in my Baby Name Wizard book that Brody was quickly turning into a popular female name. I HATE that, I hate when people name their little girls with boy names! I met a little girl named Karter a few months backed, I wanted to slap that mama! Seriously, just cause you change the spelling does NOT make it a girl name!

Then we threw another name into the mix, Wesley Richard. DH loves this name, me not so much. Sounds too whiny to me but we decided to keep it as our back up name.

So after much debating we settled on Brady Richard. I'm already in love with every bit of this little guy! I can't wait to meet him!

A week from today...

My baby will be 4! I can't believe how fast time has flown by. He's a little person now, he carries on a conversation, can tell me what he wants and needs, has likes and dislikes, he's so smart, and he's growing like a weed! I can't believe how tall he is, definitely does not take after his mama! He comes up to my boobs already, of course I'm only 5ft on a good day, but still! He's going to trump me before he makes it out of kindergarten! Speaking of kindergarten, he starts pre-k in August. Every time I think about that it makes me so sad, I want to home school him but I truly don't think I could teach him better than what he would get at public school. The thought of not having him here with me every day like he has been for the last 4 years just completely tears me apart. Its only from 9-12 M-F but those 3 hours of the day are special to me. He really loves MMO though, he calls that school, he begs to go every morning but we can only go a few days a week, and that's another thing that makes me sad, he loves MMO so much, now he's going to have to go to a new school. I really need to stop thinking so much about all of this, I know he'll adjust fine, guess maybe its harder on me since I'm so hormonal these days.

Family time

Mark was supposed to take Thursday through Monday off, he ended up home since Tuesday due to his stomach virus. Thankfully that cleared up rather quickly, he still has moments but he's not nearly as bad. We ended up going to the aquarium on Thursday as planned, it was a lot of fun but made for a very long day. If you're on my myspace I posted pics! The aquarium itself was nice, we'll have to go back since the outside play area was closed. The outside play area looked really cool, too bad it wasn't open. We had one little incident that day, this crazy woman YELLED at Nolan because he bopped her daughter on the head. Now first off, Nolan was standing by the glass of the big tank minding his own business. This crazy woman comes up and is trying to get through the crowd, and not so nicely either. She was saying very rudely, "EXCUSE ME" but not giving anyone any time to react. She ended up hitting Nolan (not hard but enough to startle him) with her stroller. She had absolutely no regards for anyone else. Nolan turned around, thinking he had been hit, and bopped the girl back. Now of course I don't condone this, but at the same time I was right there, trying to get him out of her way, and immediately told Nolan "No hit" She had no right to yell at my son and I told her so. She got all upset, trying to defend herself by making Nolan look like this vicious little terror who just beat up her daughter. Everyone there who saw what happened was in total shock of this woman, one guy even told her she needed to leave as her kind wasn't welcomed. Mark even stood up to her and told her to take a hike, he's not the kind to do that at all. It was unreal. I mean I know Nolan shouldn't have hit her daughter but still, he's not even 2 and he was confused. Plus he's my child and I was right there trying my best to handle the situation. I don't think its ever right to reprimand someone elses child if the parent is right there, especially if you don't know the child or mother. If she had said in a nice tone that hitting is not right then I would have been fine with it, but the fact that she plowed into Nolan then yelled at him for hitting her daughter... Just didn't sit well with me at all!

So after our fun filled aquarium day we came home, relaxed, and just hung out. Nolan woke up from his nap and I noticed he was really hot. Poor kid now has another fever, which for now is his only symptom other than being lethargic from the fever. I took him to the dr today, since this is the second time he's been sick in the last 2 weeks I wanted to make sure it wasn't his ears. Just a cold, tylenol for fever, has to ride it out... poor kid!

As for today, we did a lot of running around, getting errands done. My house is clean, top to bottom. We went to the grocery store, so we're completely stocked up for the week. Got our valpak in the mail and found an awesome coupon in there for the Eager Beaver... haha, so not what you think! It's a car wash place! Royal Treatment, which is usually $25 bucks, was only $12 with the coupon. Apparently everyone else in town got their coupon too, the place was jammin! Still it was fun, the boys love watching our van go through the car wash from the main window. While we were waiting in our car for the guy to come up and ask us what we wanted the baby started kicking around, I quickly grabbed Marks hand and pushed it into my belly just a little and BOOM! He finally felt him kick! For the last few weeks Mark kept missing his kicks but this time there was no way he could miss it, little man was practicing karate in there! lol

While driving around yesterday we noticed the for sale sign down on the house we almost bought last year. My dad had this awesome idea to buy the house for us and have us pay him back. For so many reasons I'm happy this didn't work out but at the time it seemed like a great idea. My dad likes to have control over us, if we had gotten this house we would have been stuck here. Now with the way things have turned out I'm glad we're not, but it still was a great opportunity. Anyway, the for sale sign was gone so we decided to look it up on the property appraisers site to see if it sold, it did!!! When we were interested he house was listed for $169,000, my dad offered a cash as is sale for $140,000. In the state our economy is in that is really a great deal. No fuss, no muss, here's your $140,000 now get lost... Oh no no no, they were "highly offended" by the offer, which is rather comical in itself. Apparently the parents passed away and the kids were selling the house wanting as much as they could get their greedy hands on. This house was built in the 70's, it was a nice house but when you walked inside it still looked like 1970 in there, granted it was only cosmetic but still, it was in desperate need of updates. The tile floor throughout the kitchen and bathrooms looked like the tile in nasty old Taco Bell restaurants. Seriously. Anyway, this was about 7 months ago that we made this offer, the house just sold a few weeks ago for $135,000 and had to offer a warranty on the house as well, something we were not asking for! Suckers! Not only did they have to wait another 6 months, if they had sold it to us when we were trying to buy it they would have made $5000 more plus wouldn't have had to pay their taxes on it that year... which was also pretty $$$. Serves them right, highly offended my ass... more like GREEDY! Anyway as petty as that sounds, it made my day!

Tomorrow we don't plan on doing much, its our one lazy day! Sunday we're supposed to go to my in-laws but if Nolan is still sick we may not. It's been nice having Mark home, Carter and Nolan are loving all this daddy time and daddy is too! Sucks that both Nolan and Mark have been sick, thank God we weren't in the mountains for all of that! Now that would have truly sucked! I'm sort of glad we're not up there as well, already I'm starting to feel very pregnant and I don't know how well I'd handle a 10 hour car trip. My ankles are already swollen and I run out of breath rather quickly. The air up there is much different than down here, hiking up and down the hills would have done me in! I believe in signs, I knew there was a reason we shouldn't go, guess this was it! Kinda wish it was a better reason though...

Uggh...

Why is it when Mark is sick he gets to stop being a husband, a father, a co-worker... everything but a sick man who expects to be waited on hand and foot. But when I get sick I still have to keep on being everything to everyone. I almost wish it was me sick instead of him, he's worse than having 2 sick kids at once!

As expected...

So our plans for MD was to go out to brunch with my family at 10am. My parents are a member of the Moose club, originally they were going to take all of us to a really nice country club but when they found out their friends were all going to the Moose instead they decided to follow along. I was fine with this, I really didn't care, either way I didn't want to go but was going because I felt I had too.

Every time I have to do something with my family I get very bitchy right before. I really noticed this yesterday. Mark has pointed it out several times before but I didn't believe him. I guess the anxiety of knowing I'm going to have too see them gets to me and I take it out on him, poor guy. When we got to the Moose my dad met us at the front door, when he's around his friends he acts like this big macho guy who can't even shake his son-in-law's hand or hug his daughter or grandkids. Yesterday was no exception. What really pissed me off was that my parents chose a place to eat knowing they allow smoking inside the building. Umm... thanks a lot! Had I known prior to going that smoking was permitted I would not have went. Right as I walked in I got an instant headache. Just what I wanted on mothers day, to expose my children, my unborn, my husband and myself to some very heavy and nasty secondhand smoke that made me feel ill. Sorry to you smokers out there, I honestly don't care about smoking itself, but I do care about being trapped in a building having to smell it. I love that our state has a no smoking law in restaurants or anywhere where food is served. I have no idea how this club went around that but somehow they did. The second person I see is my little sister, my first thought was, ok, here we go... I knew she was going to yell at me for not calling her back the other day when she was in town. In my defense she called my cell only, my cell was in my car on the charger, by the time I realized she called it was the next day. So of course, first thing she did was to make some snarky remark about it then roll her eyes at me. Nice, real mature. I tried explaining but she didn't care. We got seated a few mins later and I made damn sure I sat far away from her. I tried talking a little to my mother, but really all I wanted to say to her was that I was still angry with her for the comments she made about the boys. I refrained, of course, because I really didn't want any drama and I didn't think that was the right place or time. It was still very hard to be face to face with her. I sat far away from her too.

So we're sitting there, waiting to be served. I'm trying my best to make small talk but was really more focused on the kids. Nolan was hungry, however nothing I tried giving him was working. I knew that he'd never make it till 10am with no breakfast so I fed him a big bowl of cantaloupe before we left, around 9:00. I thought that would tie him over until brunch was served. However at 10:45 there was still no food, we had been there for nearly an hour. Nolan was becoming hard to control. He wanted to either get out of his chair and walk around or eat. I tried walking around with him but he wanted to visit others and they were busy eating. I heard the waiter guy come out and say that he was serving table 14, we were table 17. I had no idea how long it would take for them to get to us and by now Nolan was having a complete melt down. And like clockwork, the criticizing comments started... "Why is he acting like that?" Because he's hungry and he's 2. "Well, nobody else's 2 year old I know ever acted like that" This coming from my 22 year old sister who of course doesn't have kids and is rarely around them. With that comment I knew she was comparing Nolan to my sisters girls who apparently can do know wrong. My parents joined in on the fun and started telling me what I should do and how to handle him, I didn't agree. Why should I punish my child for expressing that he was hungry! Granted he wasn't expressing himself the way I would have preferred but lets not forget he's not even 2!! Finally I just turned to Mark and told him to take Nolan home. My mom asked were they were going and I said home. Apparently that's not what they wanted either. They didn't want him embarrassing them in front of their friends, but they didn't want him to leave either. I never win. My little sister saw this has another opportunity to attack me again and gave me a nasty look and asked what did I expect, them to have the food ready for us the second we walked in. I said no but after 45 mins Nolan was done, he wanted to eat now so Mark was going to take him home and feed him. Then she looked at me again with that nasty look and said, "You are such a bitch!" My mom told her to hush but that was all that was said. I was done, I called Mark on his cell to tell him not to leave yet that I was coming with him. I wasn't going to sit there on my mothers day and be told that I was a bitch for trying to do what I felt was right for my son (and everyone around him who didn't want to hear him) because he was hungry. My dad asked me why I was leaving and I told him I wasn't putting up with this today. They asked me to leave Carter and I refused that too, he's my son, its mothers day, why would I leave him with them?! Besides that I know too well that this was going to be talked about the entire breakfast after we left, I can only imagine the things my little sister was saying about me. I don't want my son to hear her spew. After we left we went to a restaurant that's like a Shoney's, I figured it would be perfect since it was buffet style and we could eat immediately, and we did. Poor Nolan scarfed down his food like he hadn't eaten in weeks. He was so hungry! :(

After breakfast we went home, took the boys outside to play, and had a great remainder of the day. I've since decided that I will no longer attend family functions. I am really sad about this, I moved back home to be closer to family and now I can't wait to get away again. I so badly want to move away but at the same time, despite my family, I love this town. Its safe, its where I grew up, its home. Its big enough where I don't have to worry about running into them, they live on one side, I live on another. My sister that I do get along with (and who feels the same about our family as I do) is just a few towns away. My grandfather is here. My best friends are here. The school systems are great. So many things to do as a family, why would I want to leave?! I don't know, maybe my not attending family functions will make a difference, maybe not. I could never permanently disown my family, though I've seriously considered it. Another thing I've considered is seeing a therapist to help me cope with the stress.

As sad as it is, through everything I've learned that the only family I need to concern myself with is the one I've created. My boys, my husband, and myself. At the end of the day they are the only family I need and the only family I will focus on giving my all too.

In a funk...

Not sure why, I've just been in a funk lately. Not really wanting to post or anything. Lots happened this last week, maybe its just the stress from being so busy?

Anyway, Tuesday our stimulus check came, yay! Most if it was going to bills, the rest our vacation. We finally paid off our lawyer so now its just the waiting game on when our official court date is. I can't wait till this is over for good, we've been living this hell for too long, we should have filed 4 years ago but never did. Not sure why, just didn't. We forfeited our CC's 4 years ago so living cash only is something we're used to already, but for some reason this entire ordeal is still very demoralizing. Our lawyer said look for the middle of June. Can't wait but at the same time so not looking forward to this.

I've been searching craigslist like crazy, literally checking it like 50 times a day. Finally the other day it paid off! I found the bouncer I wanted and the swing I wanted for the new baby, both dirt cheap and both in barely used condition. I love getting a good deal! Because of this I decided to splurge a little and get this gorgeous diaper bag I've been eyeing... $20 TJ Maxx special! Its beautiful! Then a good friend of mine said she'd give me her infant car seat, which is awesome considering this is probably our last baby so the idea of spending $100 on a seat our baby would sit in for only a few months wasn't something I really wanted to do. Her son only used it for a few weeks, he didn't like his seat and did better in a convertible so its practically brand new!

On Thursday the stupid speech therapist person stopped by, unannounced, just to tell me face to face that she was sorry she hasn't called and to tell me when she was going to come next week. I was not ok with this and they will be hearing from me on Monday. I was nice to her face but the more I think about this the more pissed off I get. I don't like people stopping by unannounced, I don't take lightly to this sort of thing, and its not like she doesn't have a cell phone, she's called me from hers several times. Anyway Nolan didn't get a session last week because they couldn't fit us in, then again this week, they wanted to do next week but we were supposed to be on vacation. So that's 3 weeks with nothing. Granted one week was our fault but the other two were not. I went from requesting 2 visits per week to nothing for 3. I'm done. They will be hearing from me Monday.

On Friday I took our van in for 2 tires, we had the fronts replaced at Christmas time cause the treads were falling off. The backs were ok but with going on vacation I wanted them taken care of as they were not in good condition for mountain driving. When they took the tires off, they were to move the front newer ones to the back and put 2 new front tires on the front, they noticed my brake pads were worn out and needed to be replaced. My first thought was no biggie, right, how much could that cost... apparently more than I ever imagined. $139 for just front brakes, $149 for just rear brakes, and $91 for a flush. I told them no way, I wanted to shop around first. Thankfully I did. I called Just Brakes, which I felt a little skevy about but I figured I'd give them the benefit of the doubt since they offer their $99 brake job. When I got there I noticed a good friend of mine was working there which made me feel a lot better. He and I go way back, his wife and I were friends in middle school and when they dated in high school we (her husband and I) became pretty good friends. I was in her wedding and everything, lived with them for a few months after high school. Life happened, I moved away then they did. We kept in phone contact but eventually lost touch with the exception of that yearly Christmas card. I felt so much better knowing he was doing my brakes, he's a great mechanic and I fully trust him. Unfortunately I didn't just need brake pads, I also needed 2 new rotors. I don't even want to know what the tire place would have charged me for those, but thanks to Just Brakes awesome deal I drove out of there with 2 new rotors, 4 brake pads, and a flush for $350... Tire place wanted nearly $400 for just the pads and flush alone! Thank God we discovered this problem before we left, our brakes were down to the bottom, I don't even want to think about what could have happened had we not known and went anyway.

Needless to say this unexpected brake issue forced us to cancel our vacation. We could still go up there but we wouldn't be able to do anything fun, so whats the point? We wouldn't even be able to afford the gas to drive around and sight see! It sucks, but really it was for the best. A lot happened last week that kept telling Mark and I that we shouldn't be going. Last time something like this happened we ended up pregnant, granted that can't possibly happen again but I really believe in signs and this was definitely ours. Mark is still taking some time off at the end of the week, on Thursday we're going to the beach and on Friday we're going to the Florida Aquarium. The boys will love having daddy around, I'm really looking forward to the family time as well!

Tomorrow is Mothers day. I'm not really looking forward to it but of course I'm so thankful for the opportunity to celebrate it. The reason I'm not looking forward to it is because of my own mother. Its hard for me to celebrate these days with someone who I think was not necessarily the worst mother, but she also wasn't the best. This goes for fathers day too. I hate buying cards, all these cards that are mushy and gushy saying things like "Mom, nobody compares to you..." or "Mom, you made my life so much better..." I just can't bring myself to buy those cards, sign my name, and hand it over. It would be a lie. The newest drama going on with them is they finally admitted that they don't like the boys. This has been going on for a long time, both my parents favor my older sister and my younger sister, me and my other sister have always been the black sheep, and to no surprise we are also the closest. Anyway older sister has 2 girls, and my parents spoil the hell out of them. They're good to the boys, sometimes, but nothing like they are with my sisters girls. Their favoritism is something I am used too, I never in a million years thought my boys would have to get use to it too. It makes me so sad that my kids will never have grandparents that love them unconditionally. My grandparents were the best, I miss my grandmother so much it hurts, my kids will never get that. Not that I want them to hurt but even though my grandmother passed when I was 15 I wouldn't trade a single memory with her and cherish all that I have. Marks parents are older and not as interested, plus they live 3 hours away. I hate saying this but they bore the boys. They're very quiet and not very energetic people. The boys like action. Anyway my parents claim that the boys are too much for them, that they wear them out, and that unlike my sisters kids, you can't just turn the TV on for them and have them sit there for hours on end watching TV and not getting into things. I could buy the wearing them out excuse if they weren't always partying and going dancing. They seem to have all the energy in the world to do everything but spend time with their grandsons. Then she says something I will never forget, that my kids just don't listen, especially Nolan. This hurt more than words describe. Nolan does listen, he doesn't fucking understand!! How many fucking times do I have to tell my mother this before it sinks in... he doesn't understand, this is why I have been breaking my back trying to get him into therapy with almost no success at all, and as hard as its been and all the criticism I've heard from opinionated people who don't know shit about what they're talking about, my mother was the last person I expected to hear it from. People at the park ask me why he's not talking, people at the grocery store, Target, the mall... wherever we go they look at me funny when I say he's 2 and doesn't talk yet. I explain to them what's going on and whether they get it or not I don't really care. My mother on the other hand, I can't be forgiving of her ignorance anymore. I hated feeling like I didn't have her unconditional love growing up, I'll be damned if I let them do that to my children. Sad as it is, we live less than 10 mins away yet they, by their choice, will have to watch their grandsons grow up in pictures. So yeah, Happy fucking Mothers day to you mom... You're the best...

So much going on!

Now that we know we're having a boy we've got lots to do! Let the fun begin... Shopping! All of our baby gear was crap so we got rid of it after Nolan. My older sister and I got pregnant with our first a year apart from each other so instead of me buying everything that she already had she let me borrow all of her stuff, fast forward 5 years and 4 kids later all of the stuff we had either broke or was or expired. I need a new infant car seat, bouncer, swing, and clothes. We have some clothes but after 2 boys there's a lot that needs to be replaced. I'd also like to get a moses basket. Thank goodness for our stimulus check and Marks bonus! Good news is that I most likely will not have to pay for any or many of the diapers we plan on using!! My 2 best friends wanted to throw a shower for me but I'm adamant about not letting that happen. Personally I think having multiple baby showers is tacky but I think its sweet they offered.

On top of that we're planning our first family vaca, ever! We've gone on day trips before and did a few overnights, but we were just a few hours away. This time we are going to the mountains! Marks parents own a villa on a golf course right in the heart of the mountains so lodging is free, when we get there we'll run to the grocery store so we won't be eating out a lot either which really helps save $ but with gas prices the way they are, sigh, that's the only thing that really sucks. We haven't been up there since before we had Carter, actually I was pregnant with Carter the last time we went. There is so much to do up there, the kids are going to have a blast. We're taking them on a train ride through the Nantahala forest (sp?) then after to the local carnival. We also have friends up there so we plan on doing a little visiting, then just driving and site seeing. We're also considering Gatlinburg and Pigeon Forge. Ultimately Mark and I would love to move up there, we are seriously considering it, however I want to wait for now seeing as my grandfather hasn't been in the greatest health, and he adores the boys, I couldn't imagine taking them away from him.

We're still debating on when we're going to leave. I made the mistake of telling DH we should stop by his parents house on the way up there, I thought we'd leave on mothers day so it would be a nice surprise to stop in and see them for an hour or so. This is why I can't stand my inlaws though... nothing is ever enough, give a little they take a mile. Stopping in for a short visit isn't good enough, they want us to stay the night with them then leave Monday morning from their house. Ugh! No freaking way! My inlaws make me extremely uncomfortable and my FIL annoys the hell out of me. Don't get me wrong, they are very nice people, but they are just so annoying. I feel bad saying no, but at the same time this is our first family vaca and I can't bring myself to say yes to starting it out this way either. Seeing them for a few hours out of the day is one thing, spending the night is another. They won't even let Mark and I sleep in the same bed! We've been married almost 3 years now, together for almost 8, they know we sleep in the same bed every night at home so why would being at their house overnight be any different? If only they knew what we did at their house the time we stayed there while they were out of town... and how many times we did it... LMAO we'd surely send them to an early grave! The inlaws are extremely proper people, nothing like Mark, I often wonder if Mark was adopted. My inlaws make the Cleavers look like rebels.

I can't wait till next week... even though I'm a little nervous since the boys have never been away from home for that amount of time, I hope it doesn't royally screw with their sleeping habits. Even if, I know we are going to have a blast together!

I have a feeling the next few months are going to fly by. Before you know it I'm going to be posting the "He's Here!!!" post!

It's a...

"Nother boy!!! He's great, healthy, active, and perfect in every way!

We are very happy and so excited... but OMG... 3 boys!!! Every time I say that to myself I get a few more gray hairs! LOL

My myspace has pics!

I keep telling myself... It could have been worse...

Today was one of those days I hope never repeats itself. Some parts of the day were ok, but the morning was not. It could have been worse. It should have never happened. But it still could have been worse. Having one of those heart stopping mommy moments start my Sunday morning off was not what I anticipated.

It all started yesterday. My sister called me early to let me know that a neighbor by my parents house was having a garage sale and there was an outside play gym for sale, that it was in good condition and I should take a look. We have been looking for something like this for a while, its not "the one" but its one that will do until we can get them the set I'd like to get. Having such a big back yard I really have been working at getting some fun outside things to do. They have a play house but Carter has outgrown that, we're getting them a sand box for their birthday next month so the only thing they really don't have was a play gym with a slide. When I got to the garage sale and saw it I thought to myself FINALLY! It was perfect for the boys and best of all, only $25! Score! I called hubby up and told him to come get it.

We get it home and we both look at each other with the same expression on our faces, how are "we" going to get this in our back yard... I'm not supposed to lift anything over 25lbs (I do anyway but this was definitely beyond what I should do.) Somehow Mark got it in by himself, but he did have one little helper. Carter was so excited and begged to help daddy out. We agreed to let him help as long as he stood out of the way. I didn't realize what a mistake that was. He watches daddy's every move, he wants to be just like him, of course. What 3 year old boy doesn't want to be just like daddy? Carter didn't miss a thing, including how to open the lock on the gate.

So this morning we all wake up around 7am. It was nice waking up to Mark being home, for a change. This was the first morning he's had off, with us, in the last month. The boys were wound up and wanting to play outside, I opened the door and let them go while I made breakfast. Mark was in the bedroom reading the news on the computer. It was a typical Sunday morning when Mark is home. From the kitchen I have full view of our completely fenced in back yard. We live in the kind of neighborhood where people watch out for everyone and there's always someone outside enjoying the peacefulness our neighborhood has to offer. Keep in mind the majority of the people in the city we live in are elderly folks. There is no such thing as crime in our little town. I grew up here, I trust the people here, and even though its sometimes a bore to live here, I feel safe here. Which is the one and only reason I haven't left yet. Needless to say I feel completely comfortable letting my kids play in the back yard without feeling the need to watch over them like hawks. If I can hear them and I can see them, then I'm good.

While making breakfast I notice the boys got quiet. This usually means they're digging in the dirt like dogs and don't want mommy to come out there and yell at them. As much as I can't stand that, I wish that was the case. I can't see the boys anywhere so I immediately stopped what I was doing to go look for them. My heart is pounding. Where were they? I saw Carter first, he was by the edge of the gate playing with something, I don't even know what he was playing with, all I saw was him and the opened gate. Nolan was no where to be found. I asked Carter where Nolan was, I apparently shouted this since not only did Carter hear me but so did my next door neighbor and Mark who was inside and oblivious to anything going on. The gate was open... finally it sunk in that my baby escaped. I ran right out to the street, I looked left, then right, still no sign of him. My heart was racing, I was screaming for Mark to hurry up. Across the street from us is a row of houses, behind those houses is a pond. I was just about to run to that pond although every ounce of me did not want too. I just couldn't believe this was happening. It felt like forever but was probably just a few seconds before another neighbor 2 doors down came walking down the side walk with Nolan in her hands. She was walking her dog and Nolan came up to greet her and her puppy. Thank God and every one of our Guardian Angels! I instantly burst into tears, my neighbor hugged me and told Nolan that he shouldn't scare his mommy like that. Nolan being the sweet little lover he is hugged me, then went back to wanting to cuddle with my neighbor. Its a good thing he's such a people person! My neighbor kept telling me it was ok, these things happen and that's why this is such a great community because we all watch out for each other...etc. I know that, but that doesn't make this right. *IF* she had woken up a few mins earlier and wasn't outside at the time... *IF* Nolan didn't see anyone else and wandered across the street to the pond... *IF*.... I keep going over all of these if's in my mind. I feel my punishment for letting this happen is to torture myself with these if's so I make sure it never happens again.

The part that makes me the most upset was that this has happened before, sort of. We had just moved in, crap was everywhere and I couldn't find anything, including my good baby gate (which has yet to appear.) The only one I could find was my cheap little wooden one, it did the job, but apparently was not Carter proof. We had just gotten a new lawnmower from my dad and Carter was completely infatuated with it. He wanted to go outside and look at it. I said no. I went to the bathroom and while I was peeinig he was knocking down the gate and doing what I told him he couldn't do. I was gone for just a second and as soon as I was done I realized what happened. Thankfully they didn't go far and I spotted them quickly. I brought them inside, and while I'm not usually one to spank my kids I did spank Carter for this and explained to him that his actions could have caused himself and/or Nolan to get seriously hurt, or worse. Immediately after I went to Target and bought a gate that's not only Carter proof, its pretty much adult proof to everyone but Mark and I.

This time around I did not spank Carter. It obviously didn't work, he doesn't understand the seriousness of what could happen. He loves his brother and watches out for him, but he's 3 and is not his babysitter. He realized after that what he did was wrong, he was upset and cried to me that he would never do that again. Well I already know that, I would definitely make sure of that! The gate has a lock on it that I thought was childproof, and it may very well be but Carter is not the average child and it obviously was not Carter proof! We decided to skip breakfast and went strait to Lowes, our gate now has 2 heavy duty chains with 2 heavy duty master locks on them. The key's are hidden in a spot I probably will never remember so I think its safe to say that this particular gate is permanently locked and secure.

After the gate incident we took off and went to BRU, BedBath&Beyond, and out to lunch as we were now starving. It was nice to spend the day together, we haven't done that in a while. Last night I worked on Carters growth chart, it was coming along great! The only thing I had to do was glue everything on. So after lunch I decided to do that. I forgot to get glue at Lowes so I looked to see what we had at home and all I had was fabric glue and gorilla glue. Having never worked with it before I figured gorilla glue was the best option. Such a stupid move on my part. I had no idea that stuff expanded as it dried and that it dried all white and puffy! The whole thing is destroyed now, I have to get new letters, numbers and animal cut outs, repaint those. completely sand down the areas they were attached at and repaint the entire board. Basically I'm at my starting point once again, I was so close to done and now this. Grrrrr!!! Oh well, at least I learned a lesson, never ever ever ever use gorilla glue again! lol And now that I know what and how I want to make this thing it shouldn't take me long to have it redone.

Despite those two bad incidents today we did our best to make the best of it and have a good day together. The gate incident really put things into perspective for me. I hugged Nolan a lot closer and a lot longer, even though at times he wasn't as thrilled as I was. Every time he threw a temper tantrum or was whinny I just thanked God that he was ok and unharmed. I still keep torturing myself with the thoughts of what could have happened, not sure when or if I will stop. I'm sure at some point I'm going to have too. I also am not sure if I'll let the boys play outside without me watching them like hawks either. That gate is most definitely secure but the thoughts, images, and that awful heart stopping fear is just too fresh.

Ready for my break!

Good Lord... This weekend was killer. Mark went on a golfing trip, he left Friday from work so we technically hadn't seen him since Thursday night. He got home late last night. Part was business related but most was pleasure. I really didn't mind that he went at first, I knew it was going to be hard to not have any breaks but my BFF and I were going to hang out so I figured I'd barely miss him and the weekend would fly by. Then she just had to go and have her baby a full month early and ruin all my plans! Haha totally kidding there. Still I wanted Mark to have fun, since he rarely ever gets too (not like I ever get to either but I'll discuss that later)

So there I was, sitting at home all weekend long, no breaks, no contact with other adults except the 2 phone calls I got every day from Mark saying, "Hi hun, I'm just calling to say I love and miss you guys, but we're about to walk in to... so I have to run, k, bye. Click. WTF?? Thanks a lot asshole! Finally on Sunday he called and said he had some time to talk. Wow, don't I feel special. Three days later he has time to talk. Whatever. So he's going on and on about his weekend, how he won some stupid award and can't wait till next year... blah blah blah. I stopped him right there and told him there will be no next year. This weekend was hard enough with 2, next year with 3... that's just not happening. Mark didn't like hearing this, I could tell by his tone that he was pissed off by me saying that. Oh fucking well...! We decided to have children so we have to make sacrifices, not just me! I told him the only way he could go next year is if he takes the boys with him. He wasn't liking that idea tho. We ended that phone conversation with an ever so sweet "Well fuck you too" send off. Just what I was looking for after 3 days of not talking to him. Sigh. BTW, the kids were out of range...outside playing. ;)

We didn't speak to each other yesterday, he tried, I ignored. I was just too pissed and feared I'd say something I would regret. He knew he was coming home to an unhappy wife, I'm sure he feared that and I'm secretly happy about it... but I still ignored him, I should have laid into him then but I was just too tired. He leaves for work at 5am, this morning I was half awake when he left, he leaned over to kiss me and I put my hand on his forehead and pushed him away. He then leaned over, kissed my ass, then said he loved me. If there's more of that tonight I'll think about forgiving him.

We did talk this morning. He still says he doesn't know why I'm mad. And truthfully I wouldn't be if he would have started off the Sunday phone conversation with a little compassion. "Gee hun, I'm so sorry this is the first time I'm getting the chance to talk to you... how did your weekend go... Oh I'm so sorry babe, but I really appreciate you taking one for the team and letting me go, I really had a great time and I promise when I get home I'll give you your much needed break..." Seriously, is that too much to ask for? Instead it was more like, "Hi babe, my weekend was great, we did this, ate here, did that, I shot a this, won this, did that, talked to this guy...etc. Isn't that great?" Well fuck you very much, so glad you had such a great time!

A good friend of mine and I were talking about this yesterday. We are truly amazed (more so annoyed) at how men can go off and do whatever it is they're doing, work, play, whatever, and at the same time leave their responsibilities as a husband and father behind them. Like its no big deal. We could never do that! Its not like I can't take weekend vacations with my friends, I just wouldn't. Especially not now, not while they're at the age that they're at. I would get about a mile down the road before I needed to turn around just to make sure they're all ok. I would constantly think of them, worry about them, call them, talk to them... it would be pointless to be away, I wouldn't enjoy myself one bit. How do they do it? Seriously, I want to know.

Simply Put

Nuff said. And you know who you are...

Oh, and please, have a great day. *rolling eyes*

Some updates...

First and foremost, my BFF had her baby girl! OMG she's adorable! Last Monday my BFF got into a "minor" car accident, she was fine but the car wasn't. We think that might have caused things to start moving, or at least it didn't help. The next night we all went out for dinner at Carrabba's, oregano is supposed to be a natural labor starter, so I've heard. Then that night her and her hubs bumped uglies and 2 days later she had her little girl, a month early! She was not trying to start labor, actually she was walking around 4-5 cm dilated and didn't even know it! She went in for a routine check up and was told to go strait over to L&D. Of course she went to Wendy's first, she was hungry, that girl never gets nervous. She got to the hospital at 4:30, doc broke her water at 6:30, her baby girl was born at 8:03pm! Doesn't get much better than that! She had such a fast childbirth, but her little girl was face up so even though she was only 6lbs 5oz, she had a hard delivery and ended up being ripped a new one.... welcome to Mommyhood Lisa!!

Now as for Nolan. I swear that woman is reading this blog! The night I posted about being pissed she called apologizing for not getting back to me sooner. Then she called today saying she's going to have the speech pathologist come to our house to re-evaluate Nolan and she thinks he may need more than one day a week. Very weird that she just came out with that. She feels that his constant drooling is a sign of low muscle tone in the lower jaw so it may be something physical after all. Before when they evaluated him he was teething, so it was hard to tell if the excessive drool was from the teething or low muscle tone. Those teeth are all the way up now, so they can't be the culprit unless he's getting his 2 year molars in which it really doesn't look like he is and he just got his 1 year molars in last month. This meeting went so much better, she spent a lot more time with him. I think it helped that Carter wasn't here, he was at MMO. I'm starting to see more and more that Carter might be the cause to a lot of this as well. I guess I didn't realize how much Carter speaks for Nolan, I'm really picking up on that now. Carter also likes to try to steal the show, loves to be the center of attention. They kept telling me to make sure he's there, I think it went much better without him. Carter definitely has good intentions, he loves his brother so much and he certainly looks out for him a lot, but I think I need to work on getting Carter to back off just as much as I have to work on getting Nolan to speak up for himself. ***Chris you are 100% right about that!!!*** I also told her about Nolan missing MMO by doing these meetings on Friday and she was more than willing to move our dates around. She wants him to keep going to MMO as well and thinks its very good for him. And once again she was another who confirmed he has no signs of Autism, Thank God!!!

My main goal is to just get the communication lines open with Nolan by the time the new baby gets here. With Carter starting Pre-k in August, new baby in September, and the fact that I have come to the realization that despite being right down the road from most of my family, I have zero help to rely on (that's another post), things are about to go from a little crazy to really freaking hectic! I'm looking forward to the extra craziness but it would be a lot easier if the communication issue is somewhat resolved before then.

Chris, We have no issues with leaving him with anyone. He's extremely social at MMO, he loves all the girls there, he's such a ladies man that it isn't even funny! The only problem we are having with him is hitting, I don't know if its just an age thing or the fact that he has no other way to communicate so he uses his hands. This just started and had gotten really bad over the last few days. I feel bad for the other children even tho all the moms tell me not to worry about it and that their kids went through that too. Carter did as well, but he never really hit other kids, only me, Mark, and his cousin who is a year older than he is... but she being older would push him around and take toys from him so he started hitting her to defend himself (not that I condoned that, just an explanation) as a result it became a hard habit to break once he realized he could control her with his hand. They've finally outgrown that.

Kinda pissed off...

Last week was our first meeting with the speech therapist person (can't remember her exact title) and she said she would call this week to set up an appt to meet up this week. She still hasn't called. So that means she will probably call tomorrow and I'm going to have to cancel my plans for Friday to accommodate her. I hate when people call at the last min, I hate when people think that just because I'm a SAHM I can do whatever whenever without a single hint of notice. I don't know what to do, I'm really not happy with this service at all. It's a state funded program and I'm thankful they do it at no charge, but that comes with a price too. The price is waiting, and unfortunately I don't think we have that opportunity. I'm going to speak with my Dr and my insurance and see what else we can do. I'm not trying to be ungrateful here but we are talking about my child who will be two in a month and a half and still isn't speaking or communicating... I'm sorry but 1 hour a week every week isn't going to do shit to help him. I do what she does every fucking day and it doesn't help.

Yikes! Watch out hormones!

Today, not a good day. I think it was because yesterday Mark didn't get home until late. His boss was in town so they went out for a few drinks after work, he didn't get home until after the boys were already in bed, so I had them alllll daaaaay lonnnng yesterday, and alllllll daaaaay lonnnnng today!

Usually that's no biggie for me, but today was not a good day. Mark and I agreed that they are our kids, we will raise them. We have very little help, during the day its all on me. If I have a dr's appt, he comes home to watch them. Yesterday I did get a break for about an hour when I went to the dentist. But having your teeth drilled out is hardly a break, IMO. Good news is dental work is done! So... After I returned it was one thing after another with Nolan. This not being able to communicate thing is taking its toll on the both of us. He wants something in our kitchen, I don't know what that is and he doesn't know how to tell me. He leads me into the kitchen then just stands there and whines. I tried giving various kinds of foods, snack, and drinks. I gave him some plastic cooking utensils that I never use so I don't mind if he breaks them, none of those were what he wanted. When he gets frustrated he goes into a temper tantrum. We had several of those yesterday and the only time I got a break from his whining was when he went to bed. All day long he whined and cried. It was exhausting but when the day was over I figured tomorrow would be better and started doing the chores Mark usually does. By the time I was done with those I was so pooped I went strait to bed.

Unfortunately we got woken up early by Nolan. So this started my day off on the wrong foot. He was whining in the kitchen again, went through the same routine and again nothing satisfied him. We attempted to go to story time at the library then out to lunch with our friends but I knew before we got there that it wasn't going to work. About 20 mins into it I decided to leave. It was too much. Nolan is hitting kids all the time, I assume because he can't speak to them he uses his hands to try to communicate. I know he's not doing it to be mean but I don't know how many times I can say "NO HIT" before he gets it. We've had one home meeting with the therapist last week and honestly, after she left I was very skeptical that she was going to be able to do what she says she is going to do. I didn't click with her at all, but I have to keep reminding myself that this isn't about me, its about Nolan. I'll give her a few more weeks to see if my initial gut reaction was right or wrong.

Anyway back to story time... I left, in tears, I just couldn't take it anymore. Anyone who knows me knows I'm not a cryer. If I'm crying its only because I've reached my breaking point, and it takes a lot to get me there. Very few people have seen me cry. My BFF works at the library, she did her best to help me with the boys, helped me get them to the car and helped calm me down a little. We were supposed to go out to lunch with her and another friend but we didn't, I just wanted to go home. On the way home I realized we had no food at the house so I did stop to get lunch at Panera Bread... YUM! I went home and put Nolan to bed, ate lunch and tried to nap but Nolan wouldn't have it that way. Finally I called Mark and broke down on him. He was so great about it, he's had to take a lot of time off of work lately for my doctor appts and dentist appts, I was fully expecting him to tell me to tough it out and he'd be home when he could. Instead he said that he would finish up the project he was working on then come home early. I guess he could tell I needed him more than I was letting on, I was telling him not to come home, that I'd be fine, but he insisted. It was such a huge relief to hear him say that.

When he got home he took the boys outside and let me go grocery shopping alone. Strangely enough, that's actually a big deal! LOL Its so nice to go and concentrate on what I need to do instead of going and having to deal with this one needing this, that, or whatever, and as soon as we get to the furthest spot in the store its inevitable, Carter will have to potty. They fight about this... they fight about that... MOOOOOM Nolan hit me!... WAAAA... You get the picture. However having time to think about what I wanted instead of my usual get in and get out routine meant I spent way more than I should have. It was worth it though!

When I got home Mark had the house cleaned, the boys fed, he took in and put away the groceries for me and started the laundry which is now all done and put away, by him! What more can an overstressed, hormonal, pregnant mom ask for? :)



Also, some updates... My mom is not going to need surgery, YAY! She did have to get a hard cast on her left ankle, she was hoping for another removable one but no such luck. They said her right sprained ankle will take more time to heal and cause the most pain since she has torn ligaments. She sounded so much better today. I think she was most worried about needing surgery so she was happy to find out she didn't need it.

I also got a call from my OB who told me that all my test results for the baby, including the NT scan results which determines if the baby could have downs syndrome, came back perfect. Of course we'll know more after my 20 week scan but as of right now we're pregnant with a healthy little baby!

My poor Mommy!

In the last few months so many loved ones have been in and out of the hospital. First my Grandmother up north got sick, she has cancer. Its treatable, not curable. Then my Grandfather up north got sick right after she got home. He had a heart attack along with CHF. He's fine now but would be better if he'd take his damn meds. Then my Grandpa who lives by me got sick, he's recovered. My uncle broke his hip and fell... he died.

So this morning my dad calls at 6:45am. Woke the whole house up! I thought he was calling to remind me that my car payment is due. I was tired and not thinking strait. At first it pissed me off, he knows I pay on Friday which is tomorrow, and if that's why he was calling couldn't he have waited until later?! Finally I wake up enough to realize that he's probably not calling about the car payment.

So I call him back, he picks up, say's hello, me being very groggy said hi, what's up. He say's this every freaking time like he doesn't have caller ID... Who is this? Duh, its your daughter! Oh, which one?? Every time I call him we go through the same thing... Anyway he tells me that my mom fell this morning down the stairs, she's in the ER right now and broke her ankle. But not to worry, she's fine, you can't call her or do anything for her so go back to bed. WTF! Why did you call then! LOL I love my dad... seriously he's so freaking funny... go back to bed, right!

Of course the whole house was awake now, no going back to bed for us! A few hours later my mom calls to tell me what happened. She got up to go to work this morning, usual time 4:30am. Went downstairs to leave, when she got to the garage she realized her tire had a flat so she ran back upstairs to tell my dad that she had a flat, he needed to get that fixed for her this morning, and she was taking his truck. Went back downstairs to leave. My parents house has 2 two car garages, one on each side of their house. A his and hers kind of thing. So my mom is leaving out of his side, went to walk down the steps in his garage, it was dark, my dad left his shoes in the middle of the floor, my mom tripped over them and went down hard. She bruised up the right side of her body, her shoulder is really sore. She sprained her right ankle really bad. Worst of all, she broke her left ankle. :( She had to be taken by ambulance because my dad couldn't lift her into his big truck, not that she's a hefty woman or anything, my dad's truck is pretty high off the ground and it was obvious her ankle was broken so he didn't want to hurt her more. I feel so bad for my mom, she must have been so embarrassed. :(

The shitty thing is, this is not the first time this happened! Its not funny, but because she is ok we couldn't help but giggle a little. My mother is a notorious clutz. She has fallen more times than I can count. She even fell down her garage stairs a few years ago and broke her ankle then as well, but that time it was only one ankle, this time her other ankle is sprained pretty bad so she's having a real hard time with this because she can't walk at all. We brought her flowers to try to cheer her up but she was drugged up and kind of out of it. She might not even remember we came by!

So if you're the praying kind, please say a few for my mom. She's ok, but her spirit is broken a little. She had a lot coming up and now it looks like she's going to have to cancel everything. She had a dr appt tomorrow and will find out then how serious her break is, hopefully its not that bad and she just needs another walking cast like before... And hopefully the next time anyone in my family has to go to the hospital its because I am having the baby!

Finally feeling better

Slowly but surely I'm finally feeling better and not so physically exhausted throughout the day. I still need naps, and I still need to take unisom to get a full nights rest, but I can make it through the day without feeling like I need to prop my eyelids open with toothpicks just to stay awake.

I honestly went into this pregnancy saying that I wasn't going to ever complain, all my symptoms I'd gladly accept. I wanted to puke, I wanted to feel nauseous, I wanted to to be on the saltine and ginger ale diet. I didn't get much of that. Instead I constantly felt like I had been run over by a semi. I wasn't prepared for that at all, especially with having to take care of 2 very active children as well. I honestly would have preferred the morning sickness, even if it lasted all day.

I kept reaching for that magical 2nd trimester week. Thinking that would be the day I started feeling better. Some books and websites say week 12 you're in your second tri, some say 13, some even say 14. I sat here as each of these weeks passed and still felt miserable. I started fearing that I may never get to feel glorious in my 2nd tri like I did with both of the boys.

However here I am, nearly 17 weeks pregnant and finally I feel a little better! Hooray! Other than being so physically exhausted all the time I really have had a great pregnancy. I don't think anyone can prepare themselves for that particular symptom because there is no cure except sleeping all day which isn't an option for me and many other pregnant women out there who also have other children to care for or have full time jobs. I never imagined that my biggest complaint was going to be being tired, saying that makes me feel like such a wuss!

So along with feeling better physically I was also happy to find out that I've lost 4 lbs since getting pregnant! Which is definitely a good thing. Being that I was not super skinny to begin with (still holding onto 40lbs of pregnancy weight after having the boys) losing weight is actually a good thing and even recommended. As long as you eat a healthy diet of course, which I do. I think the reason I've lost this weight is because I've been very good about what I eat, the fact that I have major meat aversions also helps, no greasy cheeseburgers for me! Plus, despite the fact that I've been so tired, I was forcing myself to continue to work out. Not going to pay $60 for a gym membership and not use it! I did cut my workouts down dramatically, now I mostly go in the pool and swim laps or walk on the treadmill, there's not much more I can do. Mark and I go together, we joke saying that a couple that works out together stays together... even though we never really do the same stuff we are there to support each other and its a lot of fun... plus it turns me on to see him pumping iron and getting all sweaty! :)~

What a comical day on FF

I don't usually get involved with the "DDramalover" but yesterday and today she struck a nerve that I could just not let go. She is pregnant, or so she claims. When she announced it my first thought was "good for her!" Which is pretty much my thought when anyone who is TTC gets pregnant, no matter who they are. I truly don't believe she is who she says she is, or that she's even pregnant, but really I don't give a shit one way or another. That is until yesterday... there was a post about someone considering abortion due to an unexpected pregnancy that she didn't think she could handle (the baby not the pregnancy). I must admit, when I saw that I was a bit peeved. How could she say that on a board full of women suffering from infertility? Anyway, its apparent she just needed some time to think since this was unplanned for her and she was scared, she eventually said to her hubby that like it or not she was having another baby! Good for her! Well then comes a little known drama seeking person who, in so many words but not verbatim, said that she too became pregnant unexpectedly and is considering abortion. Whoa! What the fuck?! Last I heard she was trying, maybe not trying but not preventing, but definitely wanting. If that's the case then "unexpected" isn't an option to classify your pregnancy as. Of course after people started "flaming" her she changed her post which just confused the heck out of others who didn't know what was going on. The whole thing was quite ridiculous and being that I was in a funk today I figured what the hell, I'll jump in too. Watching the whole thing unfold was too much for words to describe. No, scratch that, there is one word to describe it... Sad. But not boo-hoo sad, more like fucking hilarious sad.

Another something that's sad, again with the fucking hilarious sad not boo-hoo sad, there are actually a few FF dolts still talking about my damn cake! Wow! I couldn't be more flattered. I mean here we are nearly 11 weeks later and my cake is still being talked about. A cake, that I might add, was meant as a silly and fun way of telling my husband and others that we were expecting our third child. Not a cake that was meant to be eaten. And for the love of God, who the hell hasn't put a pee stick in their mouth recently? I can't be the only woman on FF that gives her husband blow jobs on a regular basis. If so then I'll be sure to let my dearest husband know how incredibly lucky he is. Clean that penis all you want, ladies, leakage still occurs during and I'll be willing to put a weeks pay on the fact that its more than the single drop I put on that test. Bwahahaha.... looks like the jokes on you too, pee stick suckers!

No, really, in all seriousness I should be thanking each and every one of you. I was having such a crappy day and this was just what I needed. I haven't laughed this hard in weeks, nearly 11 to be exact! :wink:

Updates and some new stuff...

First update... My uncles funeral was on Saturday. It was a beautiful ceremony, and really sad. He was 90 years old, he lived a good life and had a lot of loved ones and great stories to share. I was sad he was gone but I was more sad because I really never got to know him as well as I would have liked too. I have very few memories with him as a child, he was always very nice to me but nothing really stands out. At his funeral all his grandchildren and great grandchildren stood up and told stories about him, he seemed like such a fun guy. I lived in the same town as he did my entire life, how did I not get to know him better? My 2 older sisters have more memories than I do, I guess by the time I came around he had other things going on? I remember a few times riding my bike to his house, but that was mostly to visit my Aunt Wilma, after she died (I was only 8) we never went over there much. I left the funeral a little mad at myself for not getting to know my uncle more, which I never expected to feel that way and it's a very strange feeling to have.

As for my BFF's baby shower, it went great! I was freaking out about the entire thing, I usually do for things like this. I guess its my little defense mechanism, I fear the worst so that whatever happens is never as bad as I thought it was going to be. First thing I freaked out about was the cost, we started going a little over budget and I got a little worried about that. So instead of having it catered I decided to make the meal myself, which was baked ziti, my other friend throwing the shower with me brought a salad and dinner rolls. So instead of spending $75 on food, we spent about $20... thankfully Publix was having some killer sales! We opened things like plates and napkins as we went along, now we have a ton of stuff to take back that we didn't use. Between the two it helped bring our cost down about $100 which is great! Then I started to worry about the weather, there was a 90% chance of rain today! EEK! The whole reason we decided to have this at my teeny tiny house is because we have a huge back yard and the party was supposed to be outside! We expected about 25-30 people to show up, 40 showed up instead. Of those 40 people only about 15 actually RSVP'd... *insert eye rolls* But that's ok, it didn't rain until this evening and the party went really smooth. My ziti was a big hit, got lots of compliments. My friend had a great day, which was most important to me, and everyone had a great time! I couldn't have asked for a better outcome.

As for some new stuff, I'm attempting to turn my uncrafty self into a craft-o-holic! I'm starting to learn how to knit and I'm so excited about this. My BFF's mother-in-law and I were talking today and she mentioned that she knew how to knit. I immediately lit up because I've been looking for someone to help me learn. I've been trying to take classes but every time they come up I'm busy that day. I've tried several DVD's but I'm not a visual learner, I'm a hands on learner, I couldn't figure anything out. I hate not having someone there to critique me when I have no idea what the heck I am doing, obviously a DVD couldn't do that! She told me to get my pattern and give her a call, she'd have me knitting in no time! So Awesome! After I get the hang of knitting I'd like to start getting into sewing too, but that's going to take some time since a decent sewing machine is very expensive and I'm not sure when I'll be able to afford one. That's the nice thing about knitting, you can really save money and all you need is some needles and wool. In the mean time I am going to keep my eye out for a good used sewing machine.

Another project I'm attempting is to make growth charts for the boys. I've been wanting to get new charts, one for each kiddo. I had an idea in mind so I started searching online for what I wanted. The growth chart we have now is fabric and its not supposed to be written on but I write on it anyway. It's difficult to do and doesn't look very nice since I'm writing on fabric with a marker for 2 children, its meant for only 1 child. I was looking at wooden growth charts online and while they were all very cute they were also very expensive. Most of them were hand panted tho, mine won't be that elaborate but they will be very cute... I hope! If I were to have bought the wooden ones online it would have cost me about $175 for 3 charts. I couldn't fathom that, so I went to Lowes, got them to cut up a nice piece of plywood for me. Then I went to Michaels and got the paint, wooden letters, already painted animal wooden cut-outs, and paint brushes. Total cost was about $65! Much better! Plus mine will be more personalized where as the online charts weren't.

I'm excited about all of this, I can't wait to start all these projects. My goal is to eventually open my own online store selling everything that I can make by hand. I see so many other mama's do this and they make a decent living. I'd like to know how to make wool longies, shorties, cloth diapers, mama cloth, and maybe some children's clothing and other children items. Along with the growth charts. My goal is to get this accomplished within the next 3 years. Seeing as I don't know how to do any of this stuff yet, and I have 2.5 kids at the moment, I think 3 years is reasonable. That will give me time to learn how to do these projects and master them so that I can actually sell them too. We have a lot of craft shows in our area so I could even set up shop there. It would be really great to sell cloth diapers locally and get the word out about how awesome cloth is! I feel really good about all of this and am so excited to start learning.

Crazy times...

There is just so much going on right now, I barely have a moment to breath, much less type this!

First, my root canal last week, healed up great, however after the procedure they put me on an antibiotic so now I also have a wonderful yeast infection along with plenty of tummy issues.

On Saturday night Mark and I went to a party, we didn't get home until 2am. I'm still recovering from that thanks to my little Nolan who decided to wake up at 5:30am. Yes, that night I got a whopping 3 hours of sleep! Ouch!

Sunday was a lazy day, obviously. There wasn't much Mark and I could physically do accept sleep when we could. Unfortunately that left us at each others throats and the night ended with us in a big fight. We were both tired and cranky, not a good combination. Mark doesn't realize (or he's just playing dumb) that when he's home the boys don't want much to do with me. They have me all week, they want him. They look forward to daddy time. So when the boys started jumping all over Mark he got frustrated with them and tried to punish them. I jumped in the middle of it cause I felt he was wrong. They wanted their daddy's attention, they are children, they don't know how to ask for it the way an adult would. I would have been peachy with him trying to calmly correct their behavior but he didn't do that, he just jumped at them yelling and acting as if he were as old as they are. I tried explaining that but he was too tired and cranky to care. Which is not the usual Mark, I think that is what upset me the most. He never acts like that, his children always come first. I suppose everyone has their down days and this was definitely one of his. At the end of the day we took the boys to get something to eat and to the park, but Mark and I were still not on speaking terms. The next morning he started acting like he knew he had done wrong but of course no apology. The one thing I can't stand about my husband is that his vocabulary lacks the phrase "I'm Sorry". I suppose if that's my only complaint than I shouldn't be complaining, especially because he would rarely need to use it if he could ever spit it out.

So yesterday, Monday, not a good day either. I played hermit crab. I didn't want to talk to anyone, go anywhere, do anything. I was sick from the medicine I'm taking, I was still recovering from the weekend. Mark called me and told me that one of our friends got into a bad motorcycle accident and they didn't know if he was going to live or die, thankfully it looks like he's going to make it but it was iffy at the time I spoke with him. So with feeling very blah and gross I decided it was a good day to shut off my phones and cut off the world for one day. I stayed in my PJs, didn't shower (cause I showered the night before) and just spent time with the boys and myself. Then my little sister calls, the first time I didn't hear it, the second time I was just too lazy to kick Nolan off my lap and go hunting for the phone. About 1 min after the second call I hear a knock on my door, it was my little sister who decided it would be a good idea to show up at my house unexpectedly. If you call my house 2 times in one day and I don't answer and don't call back... DO NOT JUST SHOW UP AT MY HOUSE!!! Unless of course I have been missing for a few days or something creepy like that! I hate unexpected visitors, I don't care if it was Brad Pitt himself, if he didn't call and get an answer from me first I would have yelled at him too! My house was a wreck, I was a wreck, I didn't feel good, I looked like hell, I was pissed. Even worse she brought my uncle with her. Like I wanted to explain why I didn't want visitors to him. Sigh. I didn't know he was with her until after I yelled at my sister for just showing up. I felt bad but damn... she knows I don't like it when people just show up at my house, and this one particular day I couldn't have been more unprepared or in a worse mood. When I realized my uncle was with her I told them to come in but little sis already did her dramatic slamming of the door and left.

This morning I called my uncle, I explained in the best way possible why I felt and looked like crap and wasn't up for company, he didn't care he understood, or at least he said he did. He felt bad for showing up like that and apologized to me, which just made me feel worse. Little sis also sent me a message apologizing, which was very big of her and not normal so that makes me think someone else told her too. I hate to be so cynical but I know her to well to know she wouldn't do something like that on her own.

While on the phone this morning with my uncle I found out that one of my great uncles passed away this morning. He was a great guy, but he lived a good life and its one of those things where it seemed like it was his time. He was almost 90 years old, his wife died about 15 years ago, after that he fell into a deep depression for a few months until he met his "lady friend" who helped bring him back to life. He was happy again. However a few months ago she passed away from a massive heart attack. His health started declining greatly after. He was my grandmothers brother and the last out of her siblings to go. Its really sad but at the same time he did live a good life.

It looks like his funeral will be this weekend. I'm hoping the viewing is Friday and the funeral Saturday. If its Sunday, I'm screwed. My parents and my other sister and her family are in New Jersey visiting family, my two other sisters work weekends, I'm the only one out of my family who can attend. Plus my grandfather wants to go but someone will have to drive him. That someone is going to have to be me. Under normal circumstances I would be completely fine with this, however this Sunday is my best friends baby shower that I am hosting at my house! My dad said I have to go to my uncles funeral, he's counting on me to take grandpa. Can we say SCREWED! I'm keeping my fingers crossed that his funeral is not on Sunday but if it is family comes first and I know we will figure something out with my best friends shower.

Thursday I have a doctors appt. Not so crazy but then a good friend called and said she wants to do lunch. I rarely get to see her so of course I want to meet up with her. Its definitely going to make for one long day though.

I can't wait until this week is over. I need an end to all this craziness! Next week all I have going is my final dentist appt! Strangely enough I'm really looking forward to that. I want all of my dental work done and gone, after next week it finally will be. Hooray!